From the “The Healing Moon” series, I now present you Chapter II – part II: “The rewritable heart”
- No, Moon… but I think I could ask you for a dance. Choose your track!
- Why this one? It’s not a blues… it’s a little hard to make it a one to one dance…
- Because this is the one it’s playing now and I find it suitable in our healing context.
- So, you’ve decided to spend more time with me? Now, since I’m your only healing project…
- You’re not my only current healing project, but I do seem to have more time for you. What have you done with that issue?
- That confusing emotional issue? Well, I’ve decided to break the connection completely. And for now, everything I’m feeling are to be my feelings and my emotions. And it feels… one day it feels good, elation, even bliss while the next it feels bad, sorrow, depression and bitterness. But I guess, that’s life, isn’t it? Everyone has his ups and downs…
- Good for you, Moon. Yes, that’s life. If you don’t experience the downs you cannot appreciate the ups.
- Don’t go… Let’s do it again, please!
- Do what?!
- Dance, Jason, dance! I like to feel you move next to me
- What’s up, Moon? You’ve become paled and sad out of the blue… Are you sure you are feeling ok with that?
- I don’t know. I remembered something… I felt something strange… I’m scared that I may never be able to get ride of that connection.
- Very high chances you won’t. But better feel this song now. Wanna dance?
- Yes! Jason, do you think that a heart can be erased and rewritten with another love story?
- Moon, you stepped on my foot!
- Why, do you think a heart is a rewritable CD?
- NO, mine is a rewritable DVD.
- And how many times a rewritable DVD allows you to erase and to write it?
- I don’t know, many many times. But when it gets too used and consumed and you’ll be afraid to write on it again, you should replace the writing software!
- Moon, you’re too cr
azyeative for me. But that’s what I like about you… you’re funny. How could you replace the software that writes upon your heart?
- Well… I will make it to allow only the good things and the good memories to be stored in it. And when you’ll have your heart filled only with good things you won’t feel the need to write something else. But you will want to share it for others to be inspired by…
- Moon, you amaze me with each passing day. You’re learning even faster than I thought.
- Thank you! But… this means you’ll be leaving me again… At least let me kiss you goodbye.
- No, Moon. Good bye! But pay attention to the messages from your dreams, especially to those that feel too real to be only dreams. Next time we will be talking about that.
- Jason, you’re back!! Jason, I have a situation that I don’t know how to handle. I really don’t know what attitude I should adopt for this…
- Please, don’t tell me you’re in love again with a guy with a girlfriend!
- Hhhow?!… How did you know that?
- I know you, Moon. I came to understand your “loving” style. Or to say it this way, you’re sacrificing style. I left you alone only for two weeks and you’re on the wrong road again! Only two weeks, Moon!! But I’m not here to lecture you, or to twist your wounds, I’m here to show you that there are other perspectives to be seen. In this type of life events, you need a different perspective, a parallel path, to say it this way, until you’ll be ready to really face the cause.
- Yes, but… what should I do now? How should I be treating him for now on? How should I be treating her? I mean, I cannot hate her, she’s a soul too. I might even like her. But when he is touching her in front of me I feel such a weird thing: I feel a mixture of different emotions in the same time: on one side, I feel like it’s tearing my heart apart and on the other side, I feel good about it. I feel like… like I’m feeling what he’s feeling. And this is intriguing, but it also scares me. What if… I’m emotionally connected with him, instead of me?!
- Moon…First of all: you cannot say that you like her, because you don’t know her. You may say that you like the way she speaks or the way she dresses herself, ok? You know you have this amazing ability to learn to like absolutely everyone, if this is what you want. But I really hope that oneday you’ll be able to understand the nature of these tendencies and become available for a normal relationship.
As for this exact situation, for now don’t do anything. You could try to ignore it, until reality will make you wake-up and confront it, or… you could just feel it and connect with it. You know you may never heal something if you don’t know from where the pain is coming.
- Could I kiss you now? As for the parallel path part…
Sau constructiva? … daca nu e nici obiectiva nici constructiva, atunci se mai poate chema iubire? la fel, daca indeplineste doar una din aceste caracteristici, se mai poate chema iubire?
Iar daca nu le indeplineste pe amandoua si nici nu se poate chema iubire, atunci ce e?
Ma surprind pe zi ce trece. Am ajuns sa folosesc cuvantul iubire in limbaj de programator:
IF “one” OR “the other” = TRUE then… nu pe bune, chiar cred ca e cazul sa ma apuc sa invat un limbaj de programare… ii iau cursurile lui fratimio de la facultate. Sau… Ruby mai e la moda sau a fost devansat?
Ma gandeam sa scriu un post despre acele lucruri pe care din diverse motive nu le mai spunem… pentru situatiile (relatiile) alea emotionale, in care lucrurile sunt atat de clare si de evidente (vazute din afara), dar pe care din interior nu vrem sa le vedem si tragem de ele la infinit…. sperand ca.
Si la un momentdat se rup. Se rup atunci cand toate intrebarile spuse (sau nespuse) raman pierdute in neant fara raspuns. Si cel mai corect ar fi sa ramana rupte. Dar nu. Lucrurile sunt mult mai sadice decat par. Nici cu ele “rupte” nu ne convine si facem acel “mic” efort pentru a le reinoda.
Si tot rupand si reinodand, un elastic isi pierde complet din elasticitate, ramanand doar o bucata de sfoara noduroasa in care ne impletim impreuna sufletele. Si acum niciunul nu-si mai permite sa-i dea drumul, ci trage cat mai cu putere pentru a acapara toata bucata.
Si dintr-o chestie care a inceput frumos, din curiozitate, din rabdarea de a asculta si de a oferi (spre binele celuilalt) se ajunge la o lupta de auto-supravietuire. Si in definitiv nu va castiga niciunul… pentru ca tot tragand si tot tragand, sfoara se face din ce in ce mai mica si ajungem sa stam unul langa altul, fata in fata. Ajungem sa recunoastem bucata mare de suflet investita, dar din dorinta umana, normala, de a evolua si de a creste, realizam ca nu mai avem nevoie de acea bucata… si iar incepem sa dam.
Si dam… si reconstruim din nou elasticul.
Si ma gandeam sa scriu un post despre acele lucruri pe care nu le spunem. Si am luat-o pe carari spirituale… tocmai pentru ca nu le spunem din cauza ca nu se pot defini in cuvinte si orice incercare de a le defini creaza mai multa confuzie… si daca stau mai bine sa ma gandesc, cred ca tocmai confuzia e “chestia” aia care inmoaie elasticul atunci cand devine prea dur, pentru ca ambele parti au nevoia primordiala de a-l intelege pe celalalt in “realitatea” lui… si de a-l iubi liber si neconditionat!
I think this may be a breakthrough, although it sounds a bit crazy even for me, but… for this strange higher reason I’ll be the one having the most benefits if you two will end up together
… your composite Mars in Scorpio will be conjunct my Ascendant and my Venus (while now, one is in the 12th House and the other is in the 1st House) and your composite Moon will be conjunct my Midheaven… and your Juno will be conjunct my Descendant.
And this will be making my life so easy, giving me the creative energy to push things up and the support to stay there.
So I guess science can sometimes shed a light on love, although I don’t seem to understand how could this society’s rules and moral conventions be applied here. Yeah, it makes no sense… but it makes for me… years from now.
Anyway, I’ll just have to continue being connected. And for this strange reason it seems I’ve always been…. you’ll always be my guardian angels! Yeap, positive thinking could go this far… especially when it’s mine (I mean, the thinking)
Did I mention that by using the Porphyry Houses System, Uranus will be conjunct the South Node in my first house? Would this make me a genius?