Most probably, definitely, next life :)

I’m watching on Youtube some music collages with Vampire Diaries characters, which got me too emotional. “Holding on, and letting go.”

Ok, I got here from the episode when Grayson prepared a romantic dinner and declared himself to Jane and she… just invited him… out of the house. I mean, I understand her reasons, but still… I couldn’t help feeling for him.

I was thinking about something, I had an intuition about the deepest need of Venus in Scorpio and I was trying to see through the eyes of all the people I know with this trait, judging if it can be applied to all of them.

“Never let me go” by Florence and the Machine, I loved the song when I discovered it and I tried to sing it to karaoke, I remember, in Scarabeo, when I was with my acting colleagues after a play… funny is that I can’t remember which play was, if it was ours or someone else’s… It was just few weeks before I left, I sang it there, they even let me try it two times in a row.

I don’t know how to read music.

I mean, I can identify the notes, one by one, as if they were letters, but I cannot put the word together, so I can only sing by how I hear it. I’m painfully aware that I don’t have, at least above average, a good voice, but I love to sing, I can’t help it. Is like, singing is the only way you kinda still feel sane, while actually talking to yourself.

I would give a lot to be able to sing properly, with passion, but this body is not helping me. And so far, this reality didn’t either.

With the years I learned, through a lot of practicing on my own, that I can sing series of notes that are not that easy to hit, from the superficial memory, and I am proud of myself each time I am nailing them.

But I’m usually lacking in focus and stamina to decompose a song, to identify each note and sing it properly head to tail. I’m sorry about this. And when I do have mood and energy to concentrate for more than 2 hours in a session, I lose my voice… It’s not easy.

A couple of days ago I had a flashback, out of a sudden, that I sang “I will come to you” by Hanson, in that night of February, in Mojo, 6 years ago.

6 years ago… !! I don’t know how I sang it then, I did have some alcohol on board, but I tried again to sing it, the way I remembered it, and I noticed I was so much off-key. And singing in public, especially with people I don’t know very well, is too painful. I’m that nervous, that every cell of my body hurts.

Today, in the taxi, while I was heading to the German class, I remembered how I was told to stop making people feel sorry for myself. Almost a decade ago.

Barely now I understood, I mean, what if feels like to feel sorry for someone, in that way. It requires you to be in a very good place in your life, to be able to identify that there is a significant difference in attitude and realistic life possibilities, between you and the person you would feel sorry for. And it’s also a mixture between “hope in the good of the universe” and selfishness.

But I think the responsibility stays more with the person who feels the sorry, than with the one for whom sorries are being felt.

I never intended to make anyone feel sorry for me. Because I didn’t know what that feels like, because I didn’t know what selfish feels like.

I am just depicting my life story, as I am seeing it, always believing that I’m as interesting as any other being on this planet.. Sometimes it makes you laugh, sometimes it makes you cry.

And I feel proud of it, even when there is nothing to feel proud about, because it is my life. My story. (Yes, I came to realize that I can get very self-centered at times and I don’t even feel sorry for this.)

Nobody can express exuberance 100% of the time, to inspire others in an instant, one by one, like in a factory line. And one that would do this, would be automatically regarded as fake or extremely superficial.

And peacefulness, it cannot be written, it can only be read. The peace, that is received from the text, is always in the reader, not in the writer. The writer is just a mirror.

Now back to singing. I mean listening. And imagining me singing it. “It’s everything you wanted / It’s everything you don’t / It’s one door swinging open / And one door swinging closed.”

This is one of those intensely emotional blog posts that I would end with “I love you”. But not anymore, at least not this time. Because you don’t need my love anymore. But I need yours. Just so I can reject it. With all my heart!

My phone battery is running low (11%) and I’m too lazy to plug it in. And if I think about it, I need to use the lady’s room also. Badly. I had too much water after that quesadilla. And a huge cup of green tea.

00:00 Cool! Now you have my permission to feel sorry for myself yourself.


February’18 highlights

Last night I dreamed I was going to buy 4 tickets to cinema and paying for them with 4 wrapped pills of effervescent aspirin.

Yesterday it came to me a very strong wave of desire to investigate about doing F7 this year, in June session, on 5th, since my heart didn’t leave me not to pay also for 2018 Subscription. I’ve been procrastinating with the study for this exam since I found out the result from F5, in beginning of last year.. That F5 was a traumatic experience

Then, I decided to focus on promotion and I had many new stuff to learn for work.

Then the astrology school, the modules have finished few weeks ago, but I still didn’t catch up with reading everything, too much material.

Two weekends ago I started watching “Drop Dead Diva”. I’m at season 4. And it started to become boring. Yeah, “Once Upon a Time” I abandoned around the middle of season 2.

So now that my waters have cleared a bit, apparently, I felt there is some room for more, although the priority for my free time is still losing weight. I need to find room to go back regularly on the treadmill, after I took a pause for 1 week, which had a negative impact on my stamina, as I was barely able to do 4.5 km in 35 min this Friday and I almost fainted during the shower after. 😦

And I have also German classes, each Thursday after work. I need to take this more seriously, because, from what I’ve noticed, I’m making many mistakes while speaking, so I need to think more before opening my mouth, now that I had the chance, so far, to remember grand part of the vocabulary.

And now it got into my head the idea to see Tunisia. I wonder if those people speak English.. or I will end up initiating myself in Arabic also, at least as much as I invested in Hebrew last year, before Israel trip. But for now, I mean, for the Summer of 2018, I have already planned a road trip through Austrian mountains, Munich and Zürich. And Bern and Geneva. Too much? 😀

Yeah.. well.. now excuse me I’m left at page 2 from the new Study Curriculum for F7. 😀 Just after one more episode of Jane. Or Deb. And Stacy. I miss Fred already. 😦

And then I told Leo I would make a tomato with zucchini and rice soup for lunch, to compensate for the salmon pizza from yesterday’s lunch that I ate also for dinner and for today’s breakfast. It was too big!

One month of treadmill

Today I re-watched Mr Nobody. Actually, today I finished it, I had started it on Monday evening.

And then I found the blog post I wrote after I saw it the first time, at the very beginning of 2011.

And I read it, it made me feel so blissful!!! I realized that I succeeded, as I did find the perpendicular path over my time-line, which led me closer to understanding the 5th dimension, so I deleted it!!! 🙂

It felt like experiencing spreading my own ashes, with the wind, from the top of the highest mountain I could ever reach. Cool, right?

It’s good to re-watch that movie… from decade to decade, until 2092, as we will always understand something more. And the more we understand, the less we have left to talk about.

So, here’s the graph with my time progress, for a 5 km session run/brisk walk/walk, for 1 month, with my own treadmill:


I made this graph on the phone. And then fine-tuned it on the tablet. I mentioned I gave up having a personal computer, right? It took me 2h.

It’s ok, I have so much time now! Yesterday I caught a moment of such intense “inner silence”! I was even able to concentrate at reading.. literature reading.. so I got to page 21 from “Drums of Autumn”. 😀 It was epic.

More colours

Ok, the title actually supposed to have been “Multiple sets of rainbow twins and a Mimosa Pudica… Vampirica”, but it was too long. 😀

The mimosa was a plant, you know it, just that this one was in a bright turquoise color and was reacting also to sounds not only to wind blow and touch. It was magical.

This is what I dreamed last night – it was quite fun. There were so many other things, but I dreamed this in the early part of the night so I don’t remember everything, just some bits that I expressly tried to remember.

I think the painting by numbers has affected me a bit too much. And maybe also the cottage cheese I had before bed.

Yeah, so that’s about it for now. Wish you an excellent week!


I love this word. Which means it stays in the opposite side in my emotional spectrum compared with “discipline”. It sounds funny. Dili-dili.. right?

Last night I had nightmares. It didn’t make much of a story topic, it was more emotional turmoil.. I dreamed that people were rejecting me and it was feeling so bad…. I woke up and I got closer to Leo and we stayed cuddled for a while trying to fall back asleep but it felt like the dream world does not want me back.

After about half hour of fidgeting, it seemed that I was about to fall asleep, when I noticed some painful cramps in the right upper side of my abdomen, that were increasing. Intuitively I knew that only by eating something I would be able to make that stop. So I went down stairs, put a blanket over me and decided to eat what should have been my breakfast: one hard-boiled egg, one slice of bread with a touch of butter and some gouda, all in a sandwich form.

I then had a big warm cup of water and climbed back to sleep. It was 5 AM. I did fall very fast, don’t remember dreaming anymore, but while I was procrastinating, after I stopped the alarm, at a little over 8 AM, I was woken up by the same pain. So I had 2 breakfasts today. And a big chamomile tea.. I don’t know if it helped or not, but that was the only medicinal tea I was having that seemed more-less appropriate.

While I was lighting up the fire, I had an intuition of what could have caused my pain… in emotional resonance mode. It seemed very far-fetched, at the border of crazy, but not impossible. And later in the afternoon I discovered some new data, which now makes me realise that it actually supports that idea. There are some things in this universe that we cannot explain, in such depth of field that they could easily pass unnoticed, yet this is not stopping them from happening. I would even say that synchronicity is not for everyone.. it needs a trained eye to be spotted. And each time is like calibrating your senses even more, with a deeper reality.

Anyway.. stomach, liver, gallbladder, pancreas.. something is not very happy, probably due to the extra melting fat that they have to process, due to my weight loss program. Maybe I should eat more, but I’m afraid. 1200 calories in 4 meals per day is my comfort level. If I’ll eat more, I would have to eat more carbs, which means I would get more sugar in the blood, then more insulin, which would trigger more hunger and we would end up in the same place.

So I’m trying to drink tones of water instead and I stopped adding pepper to the food… Just when I started to be happy that I seem to have overcome the sore throat, which bugged me for about two weeks, coming and going, moving from one tonsil to the other.

Yesterday evening I was at my 2nd class of German. Turns out I’m in private individual classes, as there is no one else interested with the same level as me. We did some exercises from the B2 Test and I even picked myself a homework, I will work on it during the weekend. I walked home from there, it was around 4 km, under zero degrees, but pleasant, as it was no wind and low humidity, I saved the 100 crowns from taxi.

My painting by numbers is also progressing, although I think the sectors are too big, so only from a plane it would look what it supposed to be. But let’s see, if I will not end up without paint by the end of it, I could fine-tune here and there adding some extra smaller elements of detail.

5 years from now

I found a blog post that I wrote more than 6 years ago, in which I was asking (myself) where I would be after 5 years from that date. At that time I didn’t have any glimpse that in one year time I would have to leave my native country for.. many other years to come.

I think this human life is too short to get to know yourself properly. To acknowledge what you are capable of doing and achieving. We barely get out of diapers and then live through the 20 years of education system more like in a surviving mode. I mean, until you reach 23-24 years old you have no actual freedom of doing what you want with your life.

And then you get your first job, most probably in the field in which you majored. And after a couple of years you realize that maybe there is some other field that you would like to explore. So you go for it, because you don’t have much to lose, you are still entry-level anyway.

And life throws you through different fields, in the meanwhile you discover astrology and your own chart and study it in comparison with the ones of the people around you. And you learn that not everyone can be successful doing anything and some people have higher chances to succeed in a certain field, than others.

And you finally find your field and start growing in it and then you discover that you have colleagues with the same skills, which are almost a decade younger than you.

And now looking forward, you do see something amazing 5-10 years from now, but you can only see it from your perspective. One cannot form a functional team or a community just by oneself.

There is something that I dreamed about this week, pretty exhilarating. Why can’t change come in our lives always in a smooth, predictable way and comes like a lightning bolt of energy, that ripples through the space-time continuum messing up everything you thought you planned for yourself? I’m grateful though, that these contacts happen in my dreams first, so that reality will not take me too much by surprise… when it will actually happen.

But, unfortunately, once you dreamed about something, you somehow experienced it and an emotional print was left in you… and then you automatically set expectations. And reality seldom meets the expectations.

Ok, what I’m trying to explain is that asking someone and expecting an honest answer to the question “how do you see yourself in 5 years” makes no sense. I think a better question would be: “what are your development priorities now and how you have started (or planning to start) working towards achieving them?”. At least this question makes you think about your life, ahead, in a more effective way, with you being the main character in it.

Caramele cu lapte si miere

Asta am visat azi-noapte. Nu dau mai multe detalii, despre cine mi le-a adus si cum am intrat in posesia lor, ca nu-mi place sa ma repet (prea des). Cert este ca aveam o masa plina de pungi si cutii cu bomboane, de care nici nu m-am atins, ca nu ma tentau (prea tare), am alte obiective acum.

Deci, cum spuneam, ma aflu in sezonul al 3-lea al serialului “Marea Slabire”. Stiu ca nu ai auzit de el, ca eu l-am inventat. Sezonul 1 a inceput in Mai 2010, iar sezonul 2 in Feb 2015. Acum am inceput deja din Ianuarie, ca sa fiu sigura.

Sambata se va difuza episodul al treilea, abia astept sa ma sui pe cantar. (Ma sui in fiecare zi oricum, am si un tabel, dar ziceam asa ca sa dau o nota dramatica). Sunt optimista, un episod pe saptamana, mai am 10 episoade pana ajung la capacitatea de a putea demonstra ca pot lua forma circulara.

Ca ariciul ala obez din Parcul Safari din Tel-Aviv, care a fost luat in boot-camp-ul de slabire, pentru ca nu se mai putea lega singur la sireturi.

Glumesc, desigur. Referitor la forma mea circulara, nu la sireturile ariciului.

Mi se derula toata ziua in cap cum voi scrie acest post de blog despre caramele, abia acum mi-am gasit timp, in timp ce mi se pregateste cina. Cum? Pai ce altceva? In serialul “Marea Slabire” la cina avem doar doi actori principali: Piept de pui si Mix royal de legume. Mai apare cate un guest star – 1 lingurita de ketchup sau de sos de soia.. Sau sos tartar, dar asta abia de pe la jumatatea sezonului incolo, ii place sa-si faca intrarea.

Maine seara cica ma duc la cursul de germana. Aplicatia meteo arata ninsoare si viscol. Mda… Am ramas si fara piept de pui. As putea declansa o situatie de criza. Dar va trebui sa mi-o rezolv tot singura.

Am rezistat si azi 5 km pe banda, am luat-o mai lent.. dar trebuie sa fac o pauza pana duminica, am inceput sa ma simt foarte obosita, abia am tras de mine azi-dimineata sa ma scol din pat, desi dormisem 8 ore jumate.. Noroc ca lucrez de acasa. M-a consumat un pic si focul de la centrala ca nu prea voia sa se aprinda.

Alaltaieri mi-am varsat pe perete, cafeaua proaspat facuta, noroc ca era in spatele calorifelului si n-a cazut cana jos, sa mai stau sa matur si dupa cioburi. Am sters doar pe jos, sub calorifer si mi-am facut alta. Si ramasesem si fara lapte, a trebuit sa pun coffetta si sa calculez si caloriile asteia. Dar ce probleme am si eu. 😀

Ok. Food is ready. Bye!

The promise of Peace

I just re-watched the last 2 episodes of The Vampire Diaries. Some things made a little more sense now, even aligning with what I was believing inside.

Yesterday I said some things to someone and then I was so surprised when I realized that tears are starting to make room on my face. I remembered that YouTube documentary about that little girl who never ate. When she was induced into crying by her therapist, in order to let go all the trauma she had lived in her first years of life and heal herself. And be able to eat normally, for the first time in her life.

But I didn’t want to cry, not there and not in that moment, I tried to bookmark the thing that triggered my deep emotions, to revisit it when I will be alone at home, but now I cannot remember what it was.

You know, on one way I felt angry, like, “What are you trying to do to me, here? It took me over 30 years to learn how to be tough, now you are telling me that I am allowed to cry?” “That crying is also a language in itself, that expresses things and that others should respect?” “I mean, barely now?” “I was longing for this moment for so long that I learned how to soothe myself alone, it’s ok, that moment will never come, maybe not everyone is meant to.”

I felt, maybe for the first time ever, unconditionally loved. It was scary. I felt how I was given a voice. I was there before, I remember it, around 10 years ago, when I was encouraged to dig that way, but it didn’t end well. The Voice of my own soul, nobody has ever the time/mood/patience/energy to listen to it completely.

Probably some things are to be let buried, in Peace, for centuries. Even superficial Peace, that may appear to be. And cover them with millions of tones of sand and build a new self over them.

I remember the last time I poured my soul out, sobbing for about one hour, last year, in the day I was notified my promotion is officially approved, just a couple of hours before that actually, due to a series of badly synchronized events. I started crying when I felt like my whole world and everything I knew real in it is falling apart. It felt like dying, it felt completely surreal, but, on some level, it felt good. Not the crying, but the possibility of a completely turned upside down world. Because it meant that, now, even other impossible things might happen.

It’s been 4 months and 5 days now… from a different event. Not that I’m counting, I’m just surprised. Who knows, maybe I found my Peace.

I love you. And I am very aware now of why I’m writting it. Everybody needs love, honestly, it doesn’t really matter from where it’s comming as long as you are open to receive it.

It’s ok, even if this world will fall appart, there is still water and sand enough in it to build a new one. 🙂

So I bought myself a Treadmill

I had the idea on Christmas day, I did intensive research for 2 days, I convinced Leo to drive us to shop, 15 min away, I tested it there and purchased it on 27th.

It was delivered home, into the room, on 29th, it weights 97 kg, so it took a bit of skills for Leo and me to put it together into place. We had previously turned upside down the whole living room down stairs, I literally replaced the couch – that dark hole that was eating most of my left-over stamina, after work – with the treadmill.

And I also gave up that computer, I decided not to install it back into place, so now I can eat in peace every time and concentrate on eating only. Besides I have tablet and phone for Facebook and such and Netflix and YouTube work also on the huge flat screen from upstairs.

I also started using again myfitnesspal and following through diligently, coming each time with new ideas to combine my foods in order to have, in average, around 1200 Net Calories per day.

I mean, to eat healthy, 3 meals at +/- fix hours, plus 1 or 2 snacks, there are so many things that you can include in just 1400-1500 calories per day. I usually plan the menu for the whole day in the evening before, so I will not be caught craving other stuff. I focus on what I can eat and not on what I cannot, but actually I can eat pretty much anything, as long as I combine them in a day, into the target values.

I was waiting to write this until I had enough time testing the treadmill, to have something to write about. I love it. I mean, it is nothing too special, a 3.5 HP motor with 140 cm band length, just enough for me.

It doesn’t have bluetooth so it cannot be connected with apps on the tablet, even the menu is pretty simple, maybe it has some history or memory function but I couldn’t find them yet. It was 3-4000 crowns more, a model also with that app functionality, so I decided the simplest the better, at the end of the day the app is not gonna burn the fat for me, it would only eat me unnecessary time, while analysing the reports.

The thing is… On Christmas day we went eating at Tom’s for lunch and then we decided to walk a round of lake.. which is around 4.5 km. Must have been months since last time I did a round of Olesna. Just before the end of the round, on the bridge, I felt like jogging, increasing the speed towards the end. Which resulted in a somewhat twisted knee ligament. I mean, I don’t know exactly what happened, I just know that I had to wrap it in elastic bandage and rub it with Voltaren for 2 days and 2 nights, I was barely able to walk down the stairs, as I don’t have much pain endurance, I’m afraid I will make the damage worse if I’m experiencing pain.

When, at the shop, I had the luck to test the machine – on the website it was written they don’t have that model on stock, but looks like they did have it – I was so scared because I was still wearing the bandage underneath my jeans. But it was really a miracle, the few hundred meters that I jogged while testing the treadmill I didn’t experience any pain at all, which made me realize how important and useful the Shock Absorbing System is.

Then, I was barely able to walk to the car without complaining at each step, I was thinking “am I crazy? how can I buy myself a treadmill when I can barely walk? what if I will not be able to use it and it will just be money wasted?”

And now I’m so satisfied that I did buy it! It changed my mood completely. I took this activity seriously from the beginning, I’m keeping a pair of running shoes only for it (the pink ones, I cleaned them properly after Israel) and each time I’m exercising using only proper active-wear. Then the shower after, changing back into clean home-clothes, that I carefully prepared ahead, so I would not have to waste time around the house searching, while sweated. I even created myself a playlist on YouTube specially for this and I was happy to realize that most of the songs in it have a 6.6 or 7 km/h beat rhythm, which is my “resting” peace.

Now regarding my plan and my achievements so far.

In the first evening, on the 29th, I wanted to test if my right knee got into optimum mode again, so I only did 3 km, which took me 30 min. Very bad I know, but I had no expectations, I just wanted to see how my mind and my body are handling the activity, considering I currently have some kg more than what I am usually used to have, but I am on a steady plan for melting them down.

As it was weekend, I used it also on the 30th and the 31st – 2 times on 31st, first 2 km after breakfast and second time, at around 17 h, when I experienced the first 5k with it, which took me a bit under 47 min.

It was ok, I was happy that I saw improvement in the average speed, after each session. And then I decided to exercise 1 day with 1 day rest. It’s perfect!

I was very surprised when I achieved my 2nd round of 5k with 3 min faster. And the 3rd round of 5k – which was today – with 3 more min faster, which means today I achieved 5k in a bit under 41 min. This is a true record for me!

I mean I did push myself, but enough to still be aware of my overall status, I am pretty familiar with fainting, since young age, even if nothing hurts, so I learned when I can push and when I should reduce the speed and take my time to breathe.

For the 2nd and 3rd session I have started a system of alternates between 12 km/h for 30, 40 or 60 sec, with longer resting periods at 5.8, 6 or 6.6 or 7 km/h, depending of the beat of the song and how high I feel my own heartbeat.

Overall, the important thing is to not push too much until fainting, considering I have to survive also a hot shower after, especially those late afternoons when I’m home alone, but I learned that having a bowl of fresh fruit salad, 15-30 min before the activity, it’s perfect to keep my glucose and electrolytes in balance. And I always have a small bottle of water next to me, from which I take regular sips, which helps a lot. I like to start at around 17 h, right after finishing work, so I can have enough time to cool down until preparing dinner.

Long story short: I am so proud of me, first of all, because nobody inspired me to do this big investment, everything came just from inside of me and it fitted perfectly into place; second, because I have just made Leo realize that it is a good idea and the time to replace the old rug from downstairs and tonight we just bought a new dark-beige one, which was intended completely fluffyless, in order to discourage Bonnie’s fur to glue deep into it.

I can hardly wait on Saturday to wipe with Pronto Wax all the parket in the room and install the new piece!

A, I forgot to mention how capable I felt when I was able to figure out and to loosen the screws of the belt, lubricate it and then properly screw them back, in order to keep the belt aligned, as, when it came from the box, it was a bit deflected towards the left and it was making a soft whoosh sound, each round, in the place of the fitting, so I considered that it should not be happening. I even saw the motor and the circuits board, it was so cool! And I carefully aligned it on perfect horizontal position, as on the parket it was not quite straight, but Leo helped here a bit :).

2018 (year vibration 11/2; personal year 5)

Last week I found a Language School in Frydek (actually it was recommended to me), I went there and I talked about the possibility to start following Czech for foreigners and continue with my German (at this point I would sign up even for an advanced English class, only to get out from the house more, plus I am aware that my acquired English grammar skills might not be entirely correct). It would be great if these will materialize, if they will have groups suitable for my current level starting January.

And I don’t know what else to write, I haven’t been in moods for writing lately, it’s weird, I don’t even know how these days passed, since Wednesday when I started the vacation I have been sleeping at least 10 hours each day and still feel depleted of energy.

Yeah, it’s hard after a certain age to keep finding (realistically achievable) things that excite you. It feels like I lived so much lately, I need to rest, mostly mentally.

2017, which was a 22/4 personal year for me, was a high energy draining year (thank you, Saturn!), but I did achieve significantly great things in it:

  • I used my new passport when I flew over the Atlantic for the first time, had my feet on another continent aside from Europe, also into the Pacific and in the Caribbean Sea, saw the Chichen Itza and many others;
  • had a road trip with Leo in the summer, from Frydek-Mistek until Campulung, in the new car, through Balea Lake and then also to Never Sea by train;
  • achieved promotion again at work, 3 years after the first one (which I actually consider the 2nd one, I consider the 1st one when I was transferred to the Czech Republic);
  • I used my passport for the 2nd time, for a trip to Israel, where I touched the Mediterranean Sea from the other side and also the Dead Sea, I saw the first Sun Halo ever in my life, I saw the tomb of Jesus and many others;
  • I grew my own tomato plants and ate tomatoes from them; also had many other flowers, few of them being already in small pots at 2nd generation; bought even an olive tree and after I came back from Israel I noticed it had bloomed;
  • I signed up for Astrology School, online, in Romanian. Although I couldn’t catch up with all the material so far (as I had signed in for all 3 modules + numerology), I discovered so many interesting things which filled my blank spots – the most important one being the Ethics module.
  • I put on 8 more kg than what I had last year at this time.. yeah, where do you think all this new information is being stored for processing?!
  • other things, that I should not give too much importance to them.

Long story short.. dear blog, dear readers, keep safe, see you next year! Hmm, 2018 is like 2009, numerologically speaking, what bad things I did in 2009 (thinking of trying to fix them)?