Light and Sidereal Days

Why didn’t I become an astrophysicist? I would’ve probably been able to understand faster the concept of the Sidereal Day. Ok, I get it, it’s the amount of time needed for the Earth to make a full rotation around its axis, but relative to the fix stars that are far far away from Earth, in the way that the whole Ellipse made by the Earth while it’s rotating around the Sun, appears just as dot from that star.

And with those approximately 4 min, that are gained each day due to the Sideral Day being just 23h and 56 min, can we say that the Earth, relative to the fix stars, is making 366 days each year? Which means that each 4 years, the Sidereal Clock actually gets 3 days ahead? So in 80 Sun years (somewhat average to a human life) we actually live 80 years and 2 months in Sidereal Time?

So what Sidereal Year is now? Well, actually it looks that the difference between our year and the Sidereal Year is just of 20 minutes. So in 80 years we gain just… around 27 hours. Yeah.. that’s why I don’t get it. Time has become so relative these days..

And this is how I got to the conclusion today, while having dinner, that actually Light is the 5th Dimension. Now I need to understand what I actually mean by Light. I mean, maybe, the lifespan of one cell of light – a photon. Yeah, it’s getting more and more interesting.

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Astrologies..

How do you call a person with retrograde Moon in Libra? Invisible.

If Sun conjunct Venus in a natal chart makes one “Prince Charming”, a Sun square Venus in natal chart makes one “The frog”?

Mercury opposite Venus in a natal chart. Or Mercury opposite Sun. No, no better try Venus opposite Sun.

How do you call a person with Sun in Sagittarius, Mercury in Aries and Venus in Leo? Impossible.

Or this one: Sun in 1st House and Venus in 7th in a natal chart.

Home

I’m a “student” again 🙂 – officially enrolled in a Romanian school, that I didn’t even know exists, until 1 month ago, when I got inspired.

So, for my first homework, I need to find the planets which are the most powerful, respectively the weakest, in my chart, based on their position in the signs. There are like 4 pages of text with instructions on how to do it, in the lesson 6, but I’m going to use my program. Actually it’s going to be a nice exercise of controlling if the program is doing it in the same way.

So, the planets are the most powerful when they are at home, in their sign. Pretty simple here, I already know I have Jupiter and Pluto in Domicile, which means they are the most powerful. Yes, the program has the same opinion. And then it says Moon is the 3rd. Moon?! Aaaa.. it’s because in Taurus is in Exaltation. And 4th is Venus?! But she is in Scorpio, in Exile, wasn’t this the worse possible? So, if my 4th planet is already in Exile, I’m afraid to look further in which kind of Spiritual Prisons are the rest of my planets.

Yeah, so the weakest one is – let’s follow the instructions – I have Mars in Libra, in Exile and Mercury in Capricorn, which is… Peregrine. Amazing. Considering also the aspects column, I literally have the War planet the weakest in my chart. And they call ME aggressive. 😀 😀

Actually – even if it is not asked – I would do the above analysis also for the houses in which my planets fall, because, after the experience I got so far, I seem to resonate more with the Houses than with the Signs. Unbelievable. I only have Mercury conj III cusp, so I could call this one the most powerful, in Domicile. The rest are either Peregrine either Fall… But it does make sense: I currently earn my living by working as an Analyst. Who knows, maybe in 20 years, when we will live in Space and money will have no value there, I will get to work also with those higher frequency energies of Jupiter and Pluto.

And then part two of the exercise is to do the same analysis on a person from my “entourage”. But this is private stuff. Quite insightful, though.

Which makes me think – I’m curious to find which is that frame of time when Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn are all in Domicile. Can you imagine what powerful personalities these people must have? Later edit: funny, but it turns out this is actually impossible.

Individual growth does not necessarily mean growing apart

I found this in the description of Venus conjunct Saturn in Synastry. I found it very useful. And having Venus conjunct Saturn natally I think I do understand very well where this is going – it’s like the need to connect and to catch up from time to time just to make sure no one is left behind. Because Venus is Love and Saturn is Responsibility, might become something like “I love to be responsible for you” or “I’m responsible for loving you”. I like to call this “the bigger sibling” aspect.

And now something that has preocupied my mind for the past days. I got to the conclusion that we forgot to ask. We forgot to ask “how are you doing”, “how do you feel” and even about some other more detailed stuff that we became curious about. We just go on the FB profile and Instagram, see what the person has shared lately and then we move on with our life, we intervene only when we have something that we consider valuable to share. But also our time in real time is valuable, the social media has disrupted this by allowing us to come, see and conquer, while the other person has no idea that we’ve even been there, if we don’t leave not even a Like behind. It’s like having pieces being taken from us without receiving anything in return. Sometimes it can get exhausting.

I realized, in one short interaction that I had recently, that I’m afraid to express and stand for what I really feel and instead I’m trying to figure out what the other person would want to receive from me. And then, when I already lost the attention of the other person, I’m starting to realize what I really wanted to say, but I reacted out of fear of losing. And I lost anyway – the truth. It’s hard to live like this, without growing on the idea that I am sacrificing myself. It feels like, with this aspect, there is never time to be myself, aside from being the big sister.

The Healing Moon :)

Previously in “The Healing Moon” (everything what I was capable of inventing all these years, since I wrote the first chapter in 2010):

  • Meredith is the actual partner of Jason, with whom she had a baby boy named Michael
  • Meredith was the pediatrician of Jason’s girl, Josie, the one he had with Moon
  • and he had to raise alone for a while
  • until Moon got resurrected again, because the angels saw that Josie was suffering too much without her mom and started to lose the contact with reality
  • Moon was pregnant when she died, but when she came back to life the baby was still there, it was a baby girl they named Lia
  • Moon is raising both daughters alone now, with the help of the angels
  • Klara is a former colleague of Jason, from the time he is was living in Germany
  • now Klara lives and works in Mexico
  • Tara is one of Moon’s close friends, with whom she was sharing her stuff, in the period when Jason went missing

Ok, so the thing is, apparently Jason had some fortunate time to do some meditation and try to solve a part of his life’s struggles and he started to remember the good times he spent in the company of Klara. He became curious to see what happened in her life since they haven’t seen each other and, when he found her blog, in German, he was shocked to realize that Klara never managed to get over him.

And this is how he slowly started to open up and talk with Moon about her. And then he wrote her a comment on her blog that “obsessions are not good”.

Ok, ok, I didn’t figure out the plot of it entirely, but what will happen is that Klara starts chating with Jason and at one point Jason writes her:

“I didn’t want to keep contact with you during all these years because I wanted you to grow in your life without the fear that you are ever owing something to me. I helped you when I knew how, but I couldn’t intervene more, there were some things that you had to live through just yourself, alone, although it wasn’t easy for me not to contact you.”

Klara remains speechless when she reads… she starts typing but she doesn’t know what to write, nothing seems appropriate enough with what she actually feels. Then she sees another message from Jason:

“I was afraid that, if I would ever contact you and tell you that I do miss you, you would take the first flight back and give up everything you’ve built so far.”

And then Klara finally replies:

“Yes, you are right, I did think about it this way at the beginning, I was honestly hoping for you to give a sign that you want me. But since you didn’t, for so long, especially after I found out that you got married, I tried to do something with my life also. Now I would definitely not fall for something like this, I did move on, even if I sometimes like to fantasize over the opposite of this, just for fun.”

And Jason replies: “I love you”.

Klara disconnects.

Sr Mateo? Abrinos por favor!

So I went for it. Actually the moment I decided to go for it and I did something practical in that direction was on August 16th. And, seeing what happened in between, just confirmed me the feeling that I did go for the right thing. And don’t worry, I’m diving into it under careful observation from an authorized 3rd party, just until I’m 100% sure of what I’m doing.

I dared to fight for my beliefs, to accept that this dream is a part of me. So now I feel more connected with myself and also with the rest of the world and I can feel how my energy flow has been unlocked. Because, just like everybody else on this planet, I have the right to believe in something and most of all I have the right to believe in the fact that I’m perfect just the way I am. I have the right to believe about myself whatever makes me feel good. Because, at first, change comes from within.

North Node transit to 9th House

Now that the 10th house is left satisfied, after an intense effort for the past twenty something months, I’m slowly moving my focus for evolving also into the 9th House. Here I will have North Node transit for the next almost 2 years. Which is cool, considering that my natal South Node is in Sagittarius. It may mean something like a spiritual-rediscovery or the re-assurance that I am on the correct path of evolution by holding on my current spiritual beliefs.

Jupiter also entered in transit in my 12th house – which already started having a visible and productive manifestation, for which I’m grateful. I see good things coming in this direction, especially during the month of October, when the Sun will be transiting also the 12th House.

And my progressed Sun is just about to enter Aquarius – which means the focus of my sagittarian ego is moving from capricornian endeavors to more aquarian ones. Which means a bit more uranian energy will be incorporated into the mix of the current jupiterian – saturnian flow. What would this mean? Maybe that I would start to become more spontaneous, enthusiastic, adventurous, humanitarian and less anxious, depressed, pragmatic and materialistic. Maybe.

Yeah, so I acquired a new passion: to learn Hebrew. It fascinates me that this language doesn’t have numbers, only letters, and, from what I discovered so far, their words have a weird system for adding vowels. But I’m not curious into this as a way of finding a new practice, I’m very much reluctant to any ritualistic practice for that matter (because I strongly believe in the freedom of the soul – as a small piece of God – to manifest itself at all times in our daily life, no matter what we are doing), but more towards developing my general knowledge and fine-tuning my common-sense.

I’m trying to get to the bottom of it all, from where it started and with which purpose. I’m only hoping to understand in more depth what is right and what is wrong and what is good and bad, for me, at a personal level and also for the society based on peace, kindness and tolerance, towards which (at least I’m hoping) we are all aspiring. And yes, I am aware that there are various academies where people are studying these things for whole life-times and whole centuries and they still haven’t reached a consensus.

Me pidió que viniese a verte y que hablase con voz

… Cambio dolor, por libertad… ta-na-na.. Que me ayude a continuar..

I started watching Muñeca Brava again.. even if I have probably seen some scenes more than ten times. I love them, they are so funny. And so weirdly skinny… when I was 16-17, when I saw this telenovela for the first time, I was like that also, so I was not noticing it, but now I see it like such a big difference, that if I would have to say which male figure I like now I would pick Ramoncito, the rest are such children.. I’m now at the episode 192. They started showing more and more of Rafaga singing at the disco and I have just remembered Gilda.

Anyway… I’m in the process of arranging my trip to Israel and I might have to learn few more words than Shalom and Mazel Tov. I knew also Aleph, some time ago, I even remember that I had learned how to count until 10 in Hebrew. Or was that Arabic? Wait. I know more words in Hebrew, I know also Kama and Ahava :). I wonder if I really had a previous life there, so I’m going to search for more clues, as long as I’m still 33 – the perfect age to visit that place. It’s this song, brings such intense feelings, it makes me cry and smile in the same time, it’s unbelievable. I have just booked my hostel and the flights, I can hardly wait.

The title is what Padre Manuel told Mili in one episode and my ears reacted at this alternative form of the imperfect subjunctive, which I needed to write down for posterity. I noticed that when I write in Spanish I alternate between the two forms, so maybe I’ll need to stay on just one of them.

I wonder what the Bible says in Hebrew, how different is from the version that I was studying in school during the classes of religion. Maybe I should start reading it. But it’s so weird, even passing over the fact that they read from right to left, it’s still weird. They do read from right to left, right? or left?!

A, I know also Bat Mitzvah – I learned that while watching Everwood.

Ha, I even have a category of posts in this blog with the name in Hebrew.

Patience, replies and thanks

4 more days and we end FY17. And the summer. Cool. Ok, not that much cool, but what can I do?! Turn back time? Not this time, I’ll save the power for more altruistic pursuits.

I have 2 more episodes and I finish the Community. I’m procrastinating, I could’ve finished them easily from 2 weeks ago, but I got captivated by other things.

I started reading “Peaceful parent, happy kids”. And also some other articles and interesting posts about parenting, just for documenting myself for the (not too close) future, when I will get to have someone to parent. Some week ago, when I was reading something, I found myself thinking: dude, this is some critically needed information for a peaceful living on this planet, how did I succeed to survive until now without knowing this? I must be more (emotionally) intelligent than I’m actually aware of. The most challenging part is analyzing all the things you lived as a child and young adult, in order to put them in one of the two categories: did I turn out like this “thanks to that” or “in-spite of it”?

On Thursday afternoon I cried for about 20 minutes. I don’t cry often, because I cannot cry that easily (anymore), but, when I start, I cry for everything. And I noticed the more I cry the worse I feel, because I’m suddenly becoming aware that in my worst times the only person I could ever count on to calm me down and comfort me it’s always just me. That’s my synchronicity in this life, I got to accept it. So I’m trying to keep me as sane as possible, to still be there for myself whenever I need comfort. Have you ever tried to hold your own hand? It feels so good, the most comforting is holding the left one with the right one. 😀

Anyway, I actually wanted to say that, this particular time, even after crying, I still didn’t feel better or more hopeful after it. As if, even after being strong for too long, I still couldn’t release everything that was making me feel bad. And you know why? Because the rest is part of me, so I cannot just release it, I need to peacefully extract it, clean it, nurture it and put it back. Which made me realize that all that thing with “crying is beneficial, because it’s releasing bad energy” it’s a complete bullshit. Now I strongly believe that no sane person ever felt/will feel better exclusively thanks to crying.

The story behind the title?! I can say this: deeply needed peaceful closure(s). Ok, at least until I’ll find those exact same tiles of colored cubic rock from the street with the Old-New Synagogue. And after getting inside and finding out what it’s written on the walls. And visiting Israel. This is the main fantasy story-line nonetheless, the other two are just potential spin-offs.

5 years in CZ… and a wish

Yeah, exactly 5 years ago I landed on the Václav Havel Airport with a big suitcase and a backpack. I had bought a return after 3 months, in case I would not like it or they won’t keep me after the trial period. I still have the backpack, it’s amazing, I washed it countless times in the washing machine and it still looks perfect. I wonder if I still have that suitcase, must be somewhere in Leo’s storage room.

I remember Oana and Octavian were expecting me at the airport and then they took me to my accommodation. A place that I found on the internet and then Oana and Ale inspected on site and arranged with the girl there, 1 week or so, before my arrival. It was on Ruska street. They had a tom-cat that was always sleeping in my side of the dresser, over my clothes.

When I arrived I left my suitcase and I went with O&O to the pub next to the building and we ate something. I remember I had pasta with broccoli and chicken and garlic and I couldn’t even eat it all, I brought home half of it. And I had a pivo. And Oana was teaching me how to read the stuff from the menu: polevka, omachka, prilohy… My first words in Czech in the first month were the foods.

And then at the end of October the trial evaluation came. She told me they were not satisfied with my performance, but that he recognized my potential and voted for me to give me another chance, another 3 months trial. I had a one week vacation in Ro after that and it felt so weird. Aa.. and I was also a bit crazy, I combined that week with 3 days in London, in November, because I got pissed of by the fact that a plane ticket to Prague from Bucharest, by CSA or Tarom, was more expensive than to fly to London and then from London to Prague, by Wizz Air.

Looking back at that time, I was feeling like a double outsider – desintegrated from RO but not integrated in CZ either. I mean, the work requirements were not that difficult, objectively speaking, is just that I was getting distracted so easily by the other people around. In the first month I had a crush on the Taurus guy, then on the Libra guy, then on the Scorpio guy..  each time I was forgetting what I had learned until that point…

The problem in the first 3 months was that I needed a lot of space to figure out what’s happening and I was so drained by everything, so I had no more power to do anything to change that. I was sharing a room with a Russian student whose favorite house clothes were an unbuttoned shirt and a bikini. I’m very serious. She was making me feel pretty uncomfortable. And I was paying 5000+internet, because apparently it was near-centre location.

Anyway, somehow, at the beginning of December things started to shift according to my needs. At one point it looks like a perfect storm happened. Oana told me that there is a free room in a flat in Stodulky. Oana, you were my life-savior, I will be forever grateful. It was literally 7 min away from Nove Butovice.

I stayed there 1 year, 5200 per month (all utilities included). And then, in the tram home, after the Christmas Party of 2012, Leo kissed me. Then I moved to the new place, in my own room and I took the opportunity of the winter vacation to review all my training notes and when I came back to work I started meeting all the expectations, one by one, like magic.

In February 2013 I visited Leo’s lair, in Přírodní. It was taking us 1 &1/2h to commute by public transportation between our places. Until December 2013, when the project which brought me was in the process of terminating and I was offered another position in a different project, this time in Chodov. So I decided to take all my stuff and move to Leo, because it was also much easier to go to office from there, although I was physically there just 2-3 times per week.

But don’t worry, the hardship didn’t end, apparently in Leo’s lair meat and eggs were prohibited… I accepted it, more like a challenge. Which, combined with working from home, was a very bad combination on my metabolism and suddenly one day I noticed I’m 12 kg more than when I arrived in CZ… which I managed to lose back in the first half of 2015… thanks to myfitnesspal and runkeeper and to the person from which I got inspired to use these apps.

In May 2014 due to family events Leo had to move back to his home town. So now I ended up commuting between Frydek-Mistek and Prague… I was 2 weeks there, 2 weeks there, more or less. Until June 2015, when I decided that I had enough of moving around and I closed the renting of the Prague apt and I moved here. I like to call it Mystic Falls.

But don’t worry, the trial still didn’t end, considering that first 4&1/2 months from 2016 I spent in hospital…. Yeah, and then I had another 1/2 day visit for a procedure with general anesthesia in November…

But then… somehow… 2017 came. And somehow the positive storm started to come back. I flew over the Atlantic, alone. And I had my feet in the Pacific, in Puerto Vallarta and in the Caribbean Sea at Isla Mujeres and Tulum.

And then team-building came, one day trip, 20 km walking and hiking. And that team-game with the cards. Legendary! We are such a great team, even if we see all of us together barely a couple of times in a year.

And 3 months later, which is now, I’m kept awake at night by the idea of flying to Argentina next spring, for 3 weeks. Making totally realistic plans.. 1225 EUR the plane ticket to Buenos Aires with Aerolineas Argentina. And then local flights to Bariloche and Puerto Iguazu. They have hostels there also, at least in these 3 places I want to be, 15 eur/bed. Food, let’s aprox 30 eur/day. Ok, I would like to see also Santiago and Montevideo, since they are there close, at the throw of a stick, relatively. 😀

And Ushuaia, the so called “at the end of the world”, in the southern hemisphere. With a small stop at Los Glaciares. But I really don’t want to do all that alone and Leo already said no… So now I’m praying for the Universe to send me someone who would like to be my travel companion to Argentina. I speak Spanish fluently btw.