Today I wanna be a writer

I don’t write reactively, I write actively. I don’t write to express grief or frustrations, I write because I want to create something. Writing is a dreamer’s way of producing.

Writing is a way of making puzzles. No, writing is sometimes more than a puzzle, is a magical act. And switching between words is like opening new portals into awareness.

I want to be a Fiction Writer.

I want my writings to be considered Fiction, because no one will ever believe I’m real by writing what I think, what I believe in and what I live, in my daily life.

Or perhaps, this impression, that I have about the people around me, is the product of a wrong perceptive system, which underestimates their abilities of perceiving creation. But the energy I use by adjusting the way I am perceiving them, drains me, which actually prevents me from achieving something. So, I may say that I’m only a dreamer. I think real things, but I’m still a dreamer. I write, but I’m still a dreamer. Sometimes, the whole process of writing feels like dreaming.

It’s tough, though funny. Someone, who made me think that he can really understand me, told me once that by writing what I think I’m only mourning over or procrastinating… but I’m not. I see writing as a work too, since I work to find the right words to express what I want to write, since I write only with dictionaries by my side, to be sure that I’m not misinterpreting a word, which could give a whole new meaning to the text.

I don’t write reactively, I write actively. I don’t write to express grief or frustrations, I write because I want to create something. Writing is a dreamer’s way of producing something. Writing is a way of making puzzles. No, writing is sometimes more than a way of making puzzles and typing is a way of making magic. And switching between letters, words and punctuation marks is like opening new portals into awareness. I even think that writing should be as hard as making music!

I want people not to associate me with my writings, because this is the only way I will be able to detach myself from my creation and write new things each time. In the end, you will find a pattern or a resemblance in my texts and you will be able to tell where is me, but what I really want is to be me everywhere. Or nowhere at all. Just like those pictures with a double image: from one side shows you something and from a different side shows you a whole new different thing.

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3 thoughts on “Today I wanna be a writer

  1. Eric Castelli

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  2. Pingback: Why am I not a Producer… yet… in 6 steps « Molecule din praf stelar

  3. Pingback: Wo waren wir? « My ivory tower

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