Still going up, from the highest possible

You know one thing I really like about life? – I mean, in the previous years I kinda developed some depressing-self-sacrificing tendencies, that I’m fighting to get ride off – I like that sometimes you find solutions to problems you didn’t even know you have, thanks to some people who “love” you too much.

Last night I dreamed that I did something wrong… somebody told me that. But as much as I’m trying to remember it, I cannot “see” it. But I do remember it was something connected with my baccalaureate exam.. like I was very angry that I have to do it again, because something changed in the curriculum.

I hoped I got ride of this kind of dreams, when I passed Religion. Apparently I didn’t. And today I realized that I’m joking with the wrong people – the ones who don’t consider me the close friend that I consider them…There are times in life when it looks like everyone is pushing you to prove that you can (also) be a bitch. Yes, maybe I’m using a very harsh word… but I think the idea is caught. I mean, I’m trying to characterise something/someone who makes more harm then it is really necessary, without seeing the positive outcome. Or maybe I’m not good enough at understanding what it means to be ‘strong from all the things that didn’t kill me’.

It was a very inspiring line that I remember from “Cold Mountain”, about what truly makes one brave. Why it took me that long to get here? I don’t know…

Disclaimer: This post was written while watching the most recent episode of “How I met your mother”…

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