I am, where my heart is

Someone told me once, more in a joke, that I have problems taking decisions. Most of the times is not true, but when it is, it’s excruciatingly confusing. But what seems to bring some light into it is taking a step back and postponing a little, at least as much as both (all) options are still available.

The thing is, on May 14th I bought my flights for Nice. On May 15th, after a lot of struggle I finally booked the accommodation, I’m going there between the 17th and 20th of June. I chose these dates of vacation depending exclusively on my deadlines at work. The problem now is that I’m starting to lose the mood, little by little, to go in that place, as other options of spending a quality time appear on the horizon. Still, I bought the flights, I booked accommodation. Plus a lot of other things which prevent me from doing what I would really want to do If I wouldn’t have to care about anyone and anything.

I booked a bed in a 5 beds female dorm in Villa Saint-Exupéry Gardens. I took this because it was the best option in ratings price-quality-facilities. The thing is that now I don’t seem to be in peace anymore with the_other_4 beds_thing and with the thing that the place is quite far from the beach, even if they say they provide free shuttle until the tram line. I would only have to pay around 70 euro for 3 nights here, breakfast included.

But somehow I got to find this new one, Hostel Pastoral, a lot closer to the beach, also breakfast included. But single room this time, yet I would have to pay 144 euro for 3 nights here. As in, 2 times more that the current reservation. The thing is, I cannot decide to change/cancel the first reservation and to book this new one. It doesn’t work, each time I’m just 1 button away to confirm it, I just happen to close the page instead of going forward.

Why is my future that much unstable??!! Damn responsibilities… I need some advice/coaching/help with this decision. Mostly because in the actual circumstances – after what I dreamed during the past week – what I would really want to do, is to screw with everything and go to Bucharest, instead of Nice, which would mean, buying a new ticket. But, in the same time, putting together what happened before or, better to say, what never happened before, I’m not sure that this would help either. Is there the dream world big enough to solve me this emotional paradox and facilitate communication between disjunctive entities?!

But you know what sucks even more? That I had some hopes that going to “Monte Carlo” would get me out of this mess. Anyway, I think now that a solution would be for Nice to have some piaz…. No!!! I cannot go on that dreaming road anymore! It would not help, everything is completely futile now. In general, it’s like I’m living in a bad dream and nobody wants to wake me up, because nobody understands why I’m still not completely satisfied with the life I’m having now.

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