Tying the knot and apologising myself

So I was searching myself on google.. and I found some portals where my blog was registered that made me so nostalgic. 🙂

I found one from the spring of 2008, less than a week after I signed in for this domain name: http://www.blogcatalog.com/blogs/my-dream-world The misspelled word from the description made me smile. And the snapshot – epic. I remember that March.. it was a critical month in my life, when I wanted so desperately to wake up, to move on, to evolve and to escape everything stupid and bad in my life. I knew I was under a very bad influence but I didn’t know how to get out. And the only tool that I had at my disposal was an innocent blog, that somehow, in none of the futures at that time, was able to survive April 1st 2008. Yet it struggled and it did, even until now, however almost everything else that I had or knew back then, didn’t. So I should conclude that this blog is and has been the best and the smartest thing in my life. 😀 Sometimes it feels like it has a mind and a spirit of its own.

Then, I found another one, http://newsalloy.com/arsenestefania/arsenestefania.com. Which, at a better look may not be a portal, but some kind of feed aggregator.. Anyway, I got captivated by the titles and the previews and while reading them I started crying. So much has grown that little girl and that little blog! 🙂 So much English I’ve learned in the meanwhile! And now after more than 2 years of speaking it almost 95% of the day I cannot believe there was a time when I was struggling with it. It was and probably still is one of the things in my life I cannot acknowledge I don’t know. Remembering from where I learned most of my English, starting with that year of 2008..

When you start in this world with an hysteric mother and an extremely anxious father, which is almost never there for you, because he cannot stand to hear you cry, and everyone expects from you to act as the intelligent being that you are, even if you are just a child, you truly start to believe that this is not the first life you had with them, on this Earth.

You know, people are not mean or stupid by choice. They are, when they are, just because they haven’t known better. And they are too scared to get out of their ego’s comfort zone to search for different ways of behaving and of living, because the inner-world and the beliefs system that they developed from the education that they received from their own parents will have to dissolve and collapse to the ground…

And probably also because this is how they have/had to behave, in order for you to remember how intelligent and wise you really are. Even in the process of giving up one of the teeth that states that 😀

What, you thought this blog is about marriage? :))) Because it was intended to be just about mistakes and about the way to learn to forgive yourself for making them. In my little journey, down the blog posts archive lane, I found I had those words, from the title, misspelled in this blog post here https://arsenestefania.com/2013/08/10/what-should-i-do-everything-is-already-done/ and I wanted to make sure that the author will remember how to write/use them correctly from now on. 🙂

“Please excuse me If I’ve been misleading you. I know I should apologize if I did something wrong, I’m 7 years old now!”

“Sir? Are you aware you are a just a blog?! :D”

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