You know, it’s a very complex thing this “patience” thing. I never understood what it means to be patient until I had to stay 10 weeks in the hospital only on my back in bed. And even after that, 21 weeks now from the accident, I’m still walking with crutches, even if sometimes I feel like running. I started dreaming that I’m running or dancing… I had the idea one month ago to complete a 10k run next year in spring, which means being able to run 10,5 km in less than 1h and 30 min, considering that my best, before the accident, was 10km in 1h and 35 min (mostly very fast walk, but also with Simon).
I remember my first 5k, at the gym, 3 years ago, it took me 48 min… And that was an experience, a true milestone! Where I learned that even if you cannot move anymore, because “your spleen hurts” , it’s very important to keep walking, to never stop, not even for 1 second, until achieving 5k. And then after 500 m of brisk walking you do feel the boost to run again. And then walk again. And then run again. Last year, my highest best was 5k in 39 min! 🙂
Ok, so this patience thing… how I see it now: is the ability to understand and to acknowledge that everything is temporary. The ability to learn to enjoy as much as possible from the present circumstances, even if most of them are out of your comfort zone. Because, what you are now, you will not be also after 1 hour, after 1 day, after 1 month. I noticed and I was very surprised by the body’s capacity to heal itself.
I remember, some days after the accident I was not able to bend my left leg and bring my knee to my chest without dragging it with the hands. Even after 1 month, I was feeling numbness in the lower part of my left leg and I was not able to access most of the muscles from knee up… 3 months after I noticed I was not able to bring back my left leg from lateral, without bending it or dragging it with the hands. But after 6 weeks of rehabilitation, with electro therapy and individual therapy, I managed. I can now even lift it up in the back, from sitting on my belly.
I remember when I had to stand up again, on my feet, after 11 weeks: the first time, I got dizzy and my legs melted after just 20 seconds. Or when I had to finally sit on my but, after 10 weeks: first few days I couldn’t even support my head properly, it felt I was drunk all the time :))
All these stages of inability freaked me out every time when I noticed them. But later on I realized that things heal up, muscles increase, overall tonus increases and progress is visible. I can hardly wait now to be released to train properly and to be able to participate to that 10k run next spring. In Bucharest. I wonder, medically, would I be able? Considering even before, I was not able to run for more that 500 m without loosing my breath? I remember I asked my doctor last year in november about that. He said it’s because of lack of training, but he recommends I should just walk, without running, at first, as fast as I can, for longer distances, keep constant rhythm. That’s why I did 100 km in 12 days in December. But I had also Bonnie with me each time, so the times I got might not be relevant.
Yesterday my brother did almost one round of Olesna, 4 km, in 27 min, just for fun, using my runkeeper tracking profile. He didn’t miss the chance to brag in front of me, comparing it with the stats from my previous activities… don’t worry, bro, I promise you, ONE DAY I will be able to do that too!