Another broken toy

Someone once told me, some months ago (ok, wrote me, on facebook chat) “how can you miss someone you haven’t seen in 10 years?”. I replied “I don’t know, I haven’t experienced that so far.”, while thinking to myself “well, I managed to see you again after, how much was it? 8, 9 years?” And I couldn’t forget about you, all this time, because my dreams would not let me… And when I finally got to talk to you again, (on the phone, for the first time ever, actually), you asked me, pretending to be intrigued “why so much attention lately, you want to marry me or something?” Bold move. You were sarcastic, I know. But not about you I want to write here. (Still, I wonder what inspired you to say that.)

But about this Juno conjunct my Ascendant+Venus+Saturn, that came into my life when I was quite depressed and lifted my mood up into a tornado of facebook likes and just when I started to warm up and give also my platonic “packu”, he started to gain distance… and eventually shut a concrete door after him.

Oh, these Venus in Scorpio, such characters… they know they are twisted, they even open up to you to show you their twistedness and offer you the “rules” to continue playing by from now on, but secretly in their mind they hope you break them. A, sorry, maybe that’s just me.

But it’s fun actually, because, from some years now, I was really curious to see if I will ever get to meet another “Juno over my Ascendant”, and I noticed this Juno just when I was facing backwards to the concrete door, holding the broken toy, upside down, ready to throw it into the garbage bin.

Which reminds me: sometimes in the fear of getting involved into something too intense (self-protecting mode) we tend to not see that we actually won the game. Sometimes we need just a little bit more confidence into ourselves, to see where we missed the opportunity, where were the areas not fully explored, that would separate us for an undetermined number of years from our passion.

Sometimes I wish I’d had also Sun in Scorpio, to lower the number of people that are initially attracted by my Ascendant sign but later on repulsed by my Sun sign. It’s the Jupiter conjunct to it that exaggerates everything. Or Neptune. I’m confused.

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