Last night when I was half awake, half asleep, a night moth crashed against the dormitory window, just above my head. One second later, I started feeling how every cell of my body begins to hurt.
The thing is… in the state in which I was, in the process of slowly diving into the dreamworld, after the brain had already disconnected the body (what they call sleep paralysis), I experimented time much more slower that usual. Like watching a movie recorded by a slow motion camera, where you notice so many details that you wouldn’t have been able to notice at the normal rate.
My brain was so awake and its processes so clear! When the brain released the adrenaline, as the first response to the noise, it instantly had to re-plug also the body, to activate it for potential movement, and this process created a certain amount of pain, due to a higher blood flow through the relaxed arteries.
That clear that I was able to perceive in the same time, in parallel, my physical, spiritual and emotional body, in such a way that, when the brain initiated the flood of adrenaline, I even visualized it, as a simple chemically-organic process, just like a drop of red ink into a jar of still clear water.
And I concluded that the fear was acknowledged by another part of the brain, after recording the high adrenaline level of the blood. So first it was an unconscious response to the outside’s events, as an adrenaline injection, and barely after, it was the acknowledged scare. Such an amazing brain we have! To be able to engage in the fight mode even before we realize that we may have to fight.
And then, another part of the brain matched that particular noise with one of a crashing night-moth, on the other side of the window, which meant there was no real reason for alert, so it ordered a new injection, this time of endorphin, which diminished the heart beat, to a rate compatible with a pleasant dreaming mode.
I mean, my brain interpreted that noise as a moth flying straight into the glass, but I cannot say for sure that this is what it happened, because I haven’t seen it. It was yet another part of the brain which decided that it was more important at that time for me to invent a calming, plausible justification and go back to sleep as fast as possible.
And all this happened maybe in just a couple of seconds, last night. And, in another second, I pressed “save” and “mark as important”, so the brain will remember it and bring it back into consciousness, at some point tomorrow, to write it on the blog. And I did remember it, with no external help, at around 8 PM, when I was returning from groceries shopping.
And then it took me a couple of hours to find the proper moment and the energy to carve it, in an everlasting form, over this white sheet of electronic papyrus.