Why is it much easier to accept you have an obsession with someone or something than to admit that what you feel is real love? Simple and sincere love.
Maybe it comes from self-esteem. Because love is free. So if you admit it, it means that you are doing it consciously. Real love requires you to open up and become vulnerable, let the emotions literally flow through you.
Believing in an obsession it somehow takes your responsibility out of the equation, as if you had no choice, it was over you, destiny took you by surprise.. or not.
Admitting love comes with a lot of responsibility. Like with the fox, from the Little Prince, you become automatically responsible for what you love. Or, at least, I cannot see it another way. So love can be only mature and conscious, you cannot love if you are not baked enough. It’s a bit funny though, in order to love you don’t necessarily need also to understand. So, instead of focusing on understanding, it’s more effective to focus on loving. It automatically positions you on a higher level. But don’t confuse it with blindly believing.
Some nights ago while I was trying to fall asleep cuddling with my Leo – my left leg was hurting – while I was listening to his heartbeat I somehow got hypnotized and I had some revelations. One of them was so vivid that I almost felt it happening in front of my eyes. I was thinking about the heart. How can it beat and beat and keep beating disregarding absolutely everything else, while nobody is pushing it to do so. Or is it? And I was seeing how, somewhere, in the very far future, yet far only in numbers speaking, because for me, that moment, was as if I was seeing a possible end of time all together.
I was seeing how a human was literally constructed like a lego, by a higher dimensional being: a beating heart, kidneys, lungs, eyes, ligaments, skin… with enough information stored in every cell, to be able to reproduce itself. They are already able, even in our generation, to create artificial skin and replicate stem cells in order to create any organ and they are still humans, the ones who managed this.
So in a certain future, somewhere when this technic of creating human cells, each with her own different function, has been perfected, probably God exists – as the higher dimensional being who created the human. It was sounding pretty SF, 4000-5000 years ago, but now, not that much. They say we only use 10% of our brain. Ok, they corrected it, that we use consciously only 10% of our brain, the rest is used for other processes that we don’t know about. Not even the more advanced ones, the ones who study it for a living.
So 1%. I think 1% is just enough to move the focus from obsession to free, sincere and unconditional love and to accept it, as a choice and not as a fatality. And accept vulnerability.
And then, today I saw something else. I understood something greater. But I’m not gonna write about that, I’m gonna write about the fact that is so much more energy saving to just listen, than to try to combat everything that comes to change you. I mean, is hard sometimes when you cannot fade out when someone is speaking to you and all your guts say to fight that, in the attempt of saving your energy, because you already know where the conversation leads and you’ve been there many times before and you just want to save your breath by putting a stop to it as soon as possible because it’s a dead end. But guess what, staying always engaged in this fighting mode, with all walls at maximum power, in the attempt to reject absolutely everything that tries to touch you, is not saving energy.
Being free, is saving energy. All walls down. Peacefully free. So, thanks and… I love you too. 🙂 You too.
Later edit: April 3rd, 2021 (Saturday, before Catholic Easter) – writing now that other part of the revelation that I couldn’t write above.
I had a revelation about Jesus. Like how he was sent from God from a very far future, into the past, a tiny cell in Virgin Mary. Because he had to be born. Because humanity, that far in the future went really bad… and God needed to re-write it. Jesus was an advanced being, as all beings that existed in the time from when he was sent. And after he died and went back into his future he realized he liked it better in the year ~33 A.D. so he gave up his “powers” and stayed among us. But his genes were carried through from generation to generation.
I tried to read the Bible.. each year around this time I start reading it (in several languages and translations) but I always give up, I don’t know why…
Anyway, my question is not “where you found God”, is “when you found God”.