Too old for this

Kinda weird these passed 3 days… I was bothered by a migraine, that started around 4 PM on Thursday. And, since Friday I was off, I had even more time to indulge in my misery, that 3 nurofens, one every 6 hours were not able to end. And before sleep I took a shot of Martini with lemon. I guess it helped, no more migraine this morning.

Instead I had 4 or 5 different dream sessions last night. Rarely happens to dream that much. The first one was that I was with a younger sibling and we were trapped, in a house with more people, by some crazy person who wanted to shoot us dead. At one point he got distracted into a different room so I took the chance and tried the door. It was a double door, made from wood, locked, yet somehow I was able to bend it, that much, like a plastic foil, and squeezed ourselves out, through a corner.

And then I did the same with the 2nd layer. I told the other person to run away and then I got into a corridor, I found a room, it had a window, I opened it and jumped out into a nice garden with a big road through a forest. Then I woke up, all sweated and had to pee.

Then had another dream, there were two boats, I was on the bigger one. It was just me and Leo on this boat, he was leading it. I knew it was big and strong enough to not sink even if I was jumping on it. On the other boat there were some teenagers and there was this girl who tried to do something, to save someone, yet through a risky procedure. I shouted to her to not try it, because, if she does that, the ice will break under her feet and she will fall.

And it did. So I jumped fast into their boat, pulled her out from the water and without even blinking I stripped her wet clothes and put on her my dark pink active wear sweater that I had on, even if I had just a t-shirt myself underneath and outside it was almost freezing. And I took her wet clothes and aligned them down on the sunny planks on my boat, to dry.

And in another dream, I had bought a 3 days stay, to a Wellness place, somewhere on a spanish island. And it turned out the vendor deceived me, because they didn’t inform me about all the procedures I had included in my package and some of them were a bit too much… intrusive.. So I went back with the newly acquireed info and demanded they return my money or change my package into something more… vanilla.

And in the last dream I dreamed again that I was walking around that building, searching for the number. It’s tragic, really, finding yourself repeating the same dream for months, years. It got me closer, at some point, part by coincidences, part because I took it as a challenge and searched for the info, but I still don’t have all the variables solved, to be able to narrow it down to a 3 digits number.

And even if I had, there is simply no utility in owning that information since I cannot share it or use it in any way. This New Me I’ve grown for the past 10 years is strongly against doing that, I have some moral laws to abide by, now. I hope my subconscious will eventually realize that it’s time to let go.

Because in this reality I would not get even 300 m closer to that street, not even threatened by a gun pointed to my head, as I don’t want to risk a heart attack or a stroke. You never know what opening past life portals can do to you.

I’m joking. “It’s the mystery that drove her crazy, the compelling curiosity of seeing if in reality it was the same place, as that place she dreamed about tens of times” it’s probably written on my dignity’s tomb stone, in a parallel universe.

Anyway… I had a tantrum at lunch. I mean, we decided to take Bonnie and go for lunch at Tom’s, as it was a sunny day with over 5 degrees Celsius. Same decision as, unfortunately, half of Frydek-Mistek. So we got there and all tables were full.

I remembered they had a separate restaurant-wing for the hotel guests and I took a very impulsive turn into that direction, when my right knee jumped from its place.

And that restaurant wing was closed, so pain in vain.. You know, when this happens it always hurts me more the fact that I feel I was punished by my guardian angels than the physical pain itself and I don’t understand why.

I mean, I don’t know exactly what that f** knee is doing, moving around, just that it was hurting at stepping, same thing it happened in December, couple of days before I bought my treadmill, when I spent with it two days wrapped in elastic band with Voltarene, until it stopped.

So the temporary impossibility of properly walking, the low blood sugar, the overall emotional whiny state of why all this is happening to me, all tables being full, it was too much. I grabbed Leo by the sleeve and pulled him out, sat on the stairs and started crying. I couldn’t even cry properly, I was in public, I cannot cry in public, so I was more like a child suffering from “the broken cookie syndrome”, than crying.

Conclusion.. I’m too old for this. Having children, just for example, I think my time has passed. Somewhere between moving to Czech Republic and realizing that if I don’t go to sleep at 22:30 my whole next day is doomed. And if I go earlier is doomed anyway, if I catch a Mercury turning retrograde critical day, I will end up with a 3 days migraine. So yeah… How can you not love this reality and its inhabitants 😀

Wait, I just heard Leo is preparing dinner. I take that back. All of it. :commercial alert: Life is Good. Again.

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