About motivation, ambition and a competitive spirit

😀 You know I’m cryptic and I love to be this way, I value intensity over quantity and sometimes I express what I want to express only between the words.

Yet my greatest aim is to be able to communicate more and more by using fewer words. Efficiency AND effectiveness.

I love to create my reality and to share it with the rest of the world.

I’m trying to achieve a balance between creating my reality and exploring the one of the people I’m interested in. I’m naturally prone to losing myself while being in someone else’s shoes, when trying to understand them.

Oh, it’s like a hypnotic state, a state of compulsion, yet intrinsic. And it took me way too long to understand when I’m doing it and how to snap out of it.

My greatest need is to understand everything I stumble upon. I’m obsessed to understand actually, in particular emotions, reactions, motivations.

Recently I came to understand the difference between addiction and obsession, although there is something else, more or less from the same spectrum, called mental masturbation. Sounds funny? Or tabu? It takes high consciousness to be able to recognise it and to admit it. And to realize when you should stop doing it.

Funny thing is I never read about something like this, I just realized it on my own and that term seemed the most suitable to describe it. Now I’m actually curious to see what the mighty google says about it.

There are some harmful things that I discovered in my past behaviour in respect to other people and I would have prefered them to tell me directly what was bothering them instead of trying to be “nice” and going around the bush or even ignoring me.

I still have to understand from which material those creatures are made, that have the power to ignore and don’t implode while doing it, as I can never ignore, this “ability” doesn’t seem to me to be a desirable human trait.

So I was saying I appreciate bluntness. I appreciate it especially because it takes a lot of guts to be able to express it. And when it’s driven by empathy it also implies a self-sacrificing spirit, which I’m not yet decided if I appreciate or not, so I’ll try to develop below.

I often come across this “Be nice, it doesn’t cost you anything!”, I don’t remember it ever being addressed directly to me, but I’m seeing now from their perspective.

It does cost! Time and energy. That’s why I appreciate bluntness, because it shows how much that person values their time and energy and it also makes me good to know that I can contribute to the raising of mankind by not demanding (too much of) it.

Yet I make a clear distinction between blunt/unrefined and rude/jerk. And then there is a fine line in the middle of them called flirting. But that’s a different story.

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