Last night I dreamed someone was asking me for a toothbrush. 😐
Today I had my longest phone conversation entirely in czech and a visit to ophthalmologist for a consultation and measurement 100% in czech. It was… yeah.. it seems I have the same numbers as I had also 3 years ago, when I went last time, but the main reason why I went is because the lenses got too much scratched and they bug me. And I ordered new frames, will pick them next week. 🙂
So.. About my 2 days staycation yesterday and today.. Yeah.. I can conclude staycation makes depression worse. I’m joking. I mean, if I am able to joke and smile although I would spend all day in bed on the tablet, it means I’m not depressed, right?
So.. Today I realized that after so much time in homeoffice I am not capable to commute anymore. Just because I had to take a bus to the city and back and because I had lunch in office-mode. I mean, special menu for lunch, expedition mode, I was done in 10 min after I stepped on the door of the restaurant.
Unfortunately when I’m not in staycation and really working, the closest restaurant from me is at Olesna and it takes 15 min walk there, 15 min walk back and… Wait.. Actually… Maybe I should try this, maybe for working day lunch they move faster also.
Yesterday I read 5 pages. 😐 Today I only touched the book.
But I planted one flower. I mean, I moved a tiny flowerless plant from inside pot to outside ground.
Staycation is depressing. Working makes me feel useful. The thing is.. I was imagining some other activities for these 2 days but they happened to fall in the most falling days.. of the month. Not much fun to bike. And also extremely windy. It was crazy…
From home to bus station I had tears falling from my eyes and it wasn’t because of being sad. I don’t know.. Optimistic? What’s that? Does it have to do anything with eye doctor? You think that with the new glasses I will see the world more pink? Aren’t my shoes pink enough?!
Bonnie is crying that he wants out. He was out just 1h ago. 😐
Yeah. The most sad thing about staycation is when you wake up 5 min before usual waking up time and you cannot fall back asleep. And you have no motivation to get down to make coffee and climb back with the working laptop.
I tried last week, I worked from the desk. I have office chair and everything. I was feeling like there are needles in that chair after just 2h of sitting.. I told you I suffer from adhd. And from being human. It’s really hard these days. You need to eat like 4-5 times a day.. and nobody to cook for you.
I got used to eat cans. A lot of cans. Tuna, corn, beans, chick peas.. I love garbanzo beans. 🙂 It has become an ordeal even cooking my most favourite lunch ever: salmon with rice and vegetables.
In another dream we were talking together and then his phone beeps and he received a booty call message so I let him go. I can’t remember the name of the girl. There were more things that I dreamed last night but I can’t remember them..
Ok now I’m hungry. And not even funny anymore. I’m funny just by being completely funnyless.
I love my work. I mean, I’m starting to see the bigger picture, to understand the role of all the processes I’m doing every day.
I got to a certain level of proficiency to make me feel useful and important, like I’m saving the day with that piece of information that only I have.
I got to a certain level of comfort to not feel like I’m working from one salary to another anymore. I mean, it’s been more than 12 years since I got my first worked money: 700 eur “beca” for my 3 months part-time internship in Spain. A fortune at that time for me.
If I didn’t have to work I think I’d die. The only thing I could really not live without. Can I marry my work? 😀
Wait. The owner of the house and of the 1/2 of the car just got home. Maybe I should buy myself a house also. 😀