Or “when you discover the stories on your blog have more substance and are more captivating than the book you started 1 month ago and are struggling to finish”.
But that’s ok, each human needs a certain amount of love and when this amount is not received in enough quantity from the exterior they start producing it in the interior. #self-love 😀
Anyway, about the sapphires. Because the dream I had that time was too intense and it made me feel so good when I woke up, I decided to keep it longer for myself and consume from it all the syrup before sharing it with the world.
We were in some kind of outdoor classroom, he was sitting in the bench in front of me, on the left seat and we were smiling at each other and talking on the diagonal.
They were bringing us stuff on the tables to examine, first there were some black carbon balls, then there were some pretzels, then some blue-ish crystals, we knew they supposed to be sapphires but they could be easily scratched with the nail, so they were more like mica.
At one point I realized things are shifting too much, in a surreal rhythm, so it must be a dream. I looked at him and asked him what are we doing there, our school years are long gone, let’s go do something more age appropriate, as we always do in all dreams… eventually.
Then, some bad character came out of nowhere, from my right side, and hit me over my nose with a finger, like a gesture of mocking me. I got furious and with all my strength I grabbed the margin of the bench and hit him with all my force, with my right foot, straight into his stomach, while shouting at him to fuck off and go to hell.
I didn’t know I have that much anger piled up in me, my reaction caught me by surprise. And then this black-dressed creature leaned forward and raised his arms probably with the intention of beating the crap out of me, when he jumped from his bench and stood up in front of the creature, with his chest wide open, with the head leaning back, relaxed, yet while tensing his fists, as if “If you have something with her I invite you to pass through me first!”.
So the creature instantly calmed down and walked away without even looking at me again, didn’t even touch him.
Nobody ever defended me like this. I mean, nobody ever came to mock me, out of the blue either, but I mean in general, protection of any type of abuse, especially those that only my subconscious still remembers. You have no idea how good it made me feel, I was in clouds for a straight week.
I know it was a dream, of course, but the new feeling I had the chance to experience, was completely new and it felt amazing.
I had found a genuine source of strength, in my subconscious. I should never feel scared or weak anymore, there is always my dream alter-ego, ready to jump to defend me, anytime I need it.
And then they tell me I live too much in my own head, in a fantasy world, and I’m not grounded in this reality.
It’s ok, I think I’m grounded just enough to live independently yet able to still feed my soul with the celestial beauty, with which most humans are, unfortunately, simply incompatible.