Will you please record me perfect instead?

How can something that never existed die? You know, like this situation: “I’ve been meaning to do this for you, but because you did that, I’m not doing it anymore.”

It’s not fair, you know? I had no idea what you were planning to do, you cannot make it my fault… Like it’s a limited amount of happiness that you can receive in some amount of time, if you got creative and you reached your quota for today, in the 1st hour in the morning, you can only drown in your misery for the rest of the day…

Several years ago I thought it would affect me more if and when this will happen, but today I don’t seem to feel absolutely anything about it. I feel much more for smaller things coming from a different direction. Maybe I’ve changed.

Am I supposed to hold a memorial for it or should I just let it rest in peace? Did it die because I stopped accessing it? Or it died just because of old age? It had just few more months until being 10 years old. Where do all blogs go when they die? Maybe they are all together, with the ones I created and then I killed, before I dared to become committed to this one.

I’m not making a memorial to the blog, but I’m making it to the Composite Sun Conjunct Venus in Scorpio, in the 2nd House, currently transited by retrograde Jupiter. This is the real input and it will never die, the blog was just a temporary projection. 🙂 It’s ok, I understand myself.

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