Raining

… Since yesterday afternoon. I’m home alone since yesterday morning (I mean, with Bonnie only) and I’m starting to feel like entering a parallel reality…

I was asked if I told my parents the news (as small news as it is by now) and how they reacted. Funny… But I didn’t have the chance to talk to them yet. I only had a small chat with mom on Mon and Wed.. Anyway… The only person I talked with, so far, was my Career Counselor. She took it so excited and made me also feel happy and hopeful. I think this is now a normal person should react.

I think a normal parent would’ve insisted to call me, at finding this out, considering what I’ve been through. I’m trying to contact them since this morning and neither one is replying or calling back. Very bad feeling starts to grow inside me, from worry, to anxiety, now getting close to real hate. Cool, right? Yeah, thought so. Not cool. Blame the hormones.

Or maybe I’m such a bad person that simply nobody wants to talk to me. You know how I feel by now? Like wishing to everyone what they currently wish to the Romanian government, during the protests.

Whatever, I don’t need you.

I’m Brave enough.

It’s the hormones. Sorry.

Btw, now it got into my head the idea that I might be having twins. And I only have one name picked yet. Completely different from everything I shared so far, as favorite names. I had a dream in the night before seeing the first faint positive, that I was cleaning the house because I was supposed to bring home a baby, whose name I knew in that dream. It’s amazing.

The father just replied. Not mine… Theirs. :)) He wrote me just one single word “Patience”. Now I feel so much better. :))) Not because he replied, but because it’s so fun to watch his reaction each time I’m saying I might be having twins. Wouldn’t that be awesome? To recover also what I lost 2 years ago. This is my way of dissolving anxiety – by expressing even the craziest thing that stresses my mind. I don’t give a czech crown if it’s real or not. I’m a creative person.

And.. Mind you… At first, everything, was just a thought.

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