Whatever.. I’m back

No place better than home.

Few days ago I started writing on Quora. I found it challenging. I wrote a lot.

First day, second, third it was cool, making me think, consuming my creative juices. It really kept me obsessed for few days, last weekend I went in a trip and I couldn’t put my phone away, even if I had no internet signal, I kept typing on my answer. I was really surprised by the traffic, I got about 1k views in just one week, what I usually get on my blog in 1 month. In a lucky month. I also got 15 votes, for my 30 answers. And I asked 6 questions. I got 2 answers. So until I will get at least 6 answers to my questions, I’m not giving them anything anymore.

Also, I feel that the resonance is gone. Now it somehow takes me energy, instead of giving me. First of all, the astrology topic (which interested me the most) had much more questions where they debated whether it’s real or a fraud, than actual astrology, specific questions. Ok, people. I got it. You are all right. In your way. And I still want to assume that it is real (not necessarily also believing it), it’s employing so many layers of my imagination, a refreshing escape from my daily life.

And then there are all the other topics, where at least 50% of the questions contain the word happiness in them. It seems the humanity has reached a stage when everybody wants to be happy. And now. Some ask even what to do to be happy after one year. I don’t know. You might even be dead in one year. So it won’t matter anymore. Nobody really knows.

There was a question from someone asking what to do to stop his happiness from being affected  by exterior factors. That was my masterpiece answer.

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You know how in the movies they’re moving some days/month/years into the future, when they don’t have what to show, because the characters need to face some things and evolve and move on, on their own, before being reunited again? Or they fast-forward, showing the characters either running, eating healthy for improving their figure, either supporting the walls or the doors, listening to the songs and eating the foods they shared together, while crying in despair. Either way, they are transforming.

Yeah… the problem is, in real life, something like this doesn’t happen. So you have to be present everyday, face the struggle every single day, every single hour, live with yourself 24/7. Now let’s say the drama is not really that big, let’s say I am just waiting for something exciting to happen, that I know will happen, at a specific date in the future. So I have to find something meaningful to do in the meanwhile. It’s like, this year, I’m plugged to a higher frequency of energy, which becomes unbearable if I don’t use it. Everyday. I feel I’m wasting my potential if I sit still, I need to keep myself busy with the most challenging projects ever, things I haven’t done before in my life. Find new limits for myself.

This week I had 3 days when I went to bed at 2 AM. 😦 I didn’t plan it, it just happened. I blame it on the full moon in Scorpio, which happened in my 1st house. (I must run my program and see exactly how often this happens). The thing is, I found something very captivating, which inspired me, mostly related to writing. Writing, for me, mindful writing, is an activity where time simply doesn’t exist. I forget to eat, to drink water etc, and then, I realize it’s 2 AM and I’m still not sleepy. It consumes me nonetheless, but in a pleasant way.

Sometimes I feel like it’s not even me writing, like if someone/something else higher than me it’s using my body to bestow knowledge upon our mortal’s dimension. I’m saying this, because I have times when I find myself writing things for someone else, that I wasn’t aware I know them. So writing reveals me, it makes me discover myself and it builds confidence in myself. It makes me realize how much I changed and how many things I learned, unconsciously, since last time.

Jupiter is coming back from retrograde on June 10th, currently transiting my 11th house, then (after saying “Hi” to my Mars, with maximum on August 1st) on September 1st, will enter into the 12th house, where it will stay until the beginning of December.

Last time I had Jupiter transiting my 12th House it was for just 3 & 1/2 months, from middle Sep to end of Dec 2005. And then it stayed in the 1st house for whole 2006. From middle Sep 2005 to middle Feb 2006 I was with scholarship in Spain, then, I got my first job, finished college, had my first trips with tourists around the country, started my master degree and moved alone in a rented one-room flat.

Now Jupiter will stay in my 1st house from Dec 2017 until the end of 2018…. And on Nov 12th, 2019 will be the maximum point of the conjunction with the 2nd house Sun. Cool.

Above the boiling point

So he softly comes next to me, raising his hands towards my chest, with the obvious purpose of unbuttoning my shirt.

1 h before:

Me, my brain mush from all day of youtube and other useless sites, somewhere stuck between depression and despair, shouting, rushing on the stairs up:

– “Zubat! Zubaaaaat! NO, you cannot sleep yet. Ty nemůžeš ještě spinkat! Neee! What about me? I need to take a shower first, but I’m too sad to find the energy to stand in the shower. Tomorrow we definitely have to go buy the new tub and arrange also my bathroom upstairs. Are you sleeping??”

– “Please turn off the big light, you can turn on the nightstand lamp, if you want… to talk…”, he tried to mumble, while turning himself on the other side and pulling the blanket over his head.

– “Let’s talk. I need to talk to you…”

And then, on fast-forward, one hour of apparently useless exchange of lines, which passed also through the stage of me bringing the ultimatum of “engagement ring or let me go!”, was enough for reconnecting.

Yeah.. and then he throws the blanket away, stands up and while unbuttoning my shirt asks me:

– “Aren’t you hot? With cardigan, shirt and t-shirt?”

Me looking weird at him, thinking maybe he has some indecent thoughts.. preparing to attack to the imaginary offense.

– “I am just trying to help you cool down, it seems you got too much stuff boiling up in there.”

At this point I started laughing, hysterically, like those emoticons that roll over on the floor laughing. He’s good! I have to admit this. He found a button in me, that I had no idea it exists.

We decided we will go to mall tomorrow and I will go to hairdresser. One step at a time. It’s like, you cannot expect your man to sit in one knee in front of you while you have split ends. :blink-blink face, mouth whole shut, with crickets background:

Conclusion: it always comes a time in a woman’s life, when she stops wandering aimlessly around and shows the world that she found The One she would like to settle down with. In a new tub. At least, in this parallel universe. :blink-blink:

En la lista de espera

Tengo un cepillo de dientes automático, que he comprado el año pasado cuando estaba en el hospital, con 188 euros, lo ordené en Amazon. Mucho dinero, lo sé. Porque estaba en un momento “con plata”, despues de haber recibido, finalmente, el dinero del seguro, para los primeros 3 meses de incapacidad de trabajo.. En esa semana me compré también una trusa de maquillaje Too Faced Chocolate Bar y dos cremas de Estee Lauder. Las cremas no me gustaron mucho y la trusa de maquillaje la guardo solo porque amo como huele.

Pero el cepillo está perfecto, especialmente en el modo “blanquear”, en menos de un més en utilizarlo, se veía la diferencia. El problema es que desde unos meses no le cargo mas la batería. Me cepillo los dientes con el como si fuese un cepillo normal. Por qué? Por el único razón de que no puedo. Mentalmente no lo puedo.

Estoy consciente de que solo se necesita enchufar ese m***ito vaso y colocar el cepillo allá y dejarlo hasta mañana a cargar. Pero no lo puedo hacer. Como que me da algo. Como si la acción de hacer esta cosa está situada en un otro universo. No me inspira.

Y esto me pasa muchas veces y en varias circumstancias.. me pregunto si es una enfermedad y si se llama de una manera, para poder curarla. O sea que prefiero perder una hora de mi vida escribir esta entrada de blog, con acentos y todo, antes de enchufar my cepillo para cargar.

A veces cuando de verdad tengo que hacer unas cosas, ya, en ese momento, las rodeo y las mareo de una manera hasta que me mareo a mí misma y las hago sin darme cuenta de que las hize. (Si me faltan algunos acentos en esta fraze, perdonenme). Perdónenme. 😀

Un güey una véz me dijo que su mujer ideal debería de ser muy actriz. Me pregunto ahora si despues de tanto tiempo logró en encontrarla. A mi también me gusta jugar así, pero raramente puedo encontrar una persona con profundidad suficiente para poder decir todo lo que quiero, sin tener miedo de que se pueda enfadar y podría perderla. Y una de estas personas es mi papa, núnca se ha enfadado conmigo y siempre tuvo una manera de inspirarme paciencia y confianza, solo con palabras.

Pero aún más, yo digo que mi hombre ideal debería de hablar muchas idiomas. Para poder conversar cuantas entre el cielo y la tierra sin aburirme. No hay nada más seductor para mí, que poder cambiar con facilidad entre el inglés, checo, francés, rumano, español, alemán.. y poder entender también italiano y portugués.

Pero ni modo. Ya que yo tampoco estoy perfecta, estoy consciente de que probablemente no tengo energias para poder inspirar a una persona, para que aprenda tantas idiomas solo para mí, hay muchas chances de que me voy a morir sola. Y digo sola, no necesariamente soltera. O tengo que descubrir una manera de cruzar entre universos paralelos también en la vida real, no solo en los sueños.

💓

A, nada, solo me daba flojera para escribir “hasta pronto“. 🙂

Priorities..

Ok, now I’m obsessed with Kristina’s videos (and her long love with Nutella), in which she is telling the ugly truth about motherhood and parenting, in an hysterically funny way, although, seeing how she looks in her middle 30s, after giving birth to 3, makes me more depressed than I was when I started watching her.

So… barely now I may say that I got over the jet lag and got rested enough after my vacation on the other side of the Atlantic, just enough to feel that my brain is functioning at normal capacity. (11% from the total capacity :D)

When I arrived in the house, in the middle of the day on Thursday, the house was spotless clean, the kitchen was sparkling and even Bonnie seemed recently washed. So I only had to start the fire in the heating room and work, catching up with my emails, while the washing machine was busy with my two loads of stuff, from which the purse.

Yeah, I’ve thrown the purse also, along with the whites, because, after carrying it in that rusty basket of the bike on the Isla Mujeres and opening in and closing it million times, while having bio sunscreen and bio repellent even on my eyeglasses frames, it had all colors on it, except its natural white. Ok, beige. Yeah, in that corner it was a sauce of something, after two all-you-can-eat buffet lunches, in those 2 trips in Cancun, who knows what that sauce was?!

So, when I arrived home I used one plate, that, I left in the sink. For dinner I used another plate. And a bowl. And a glass. And a fork. And my Leo did the same, probably, also on Saturday and Sunday, so on Sunday afternoon the kitchen was looking as if it was devastated by an army of hungry Bonnies. But no f** were given.

Did I mention? On Friday I managed how I managed, by miracle, to wake up at 8:55ish, because I had to work, but on Saturday I slept un-turned for 13 hours! I didn’t even know this is possible, I didn’t wake up during 13 hours not even to use the bathroom.

So I woke up at 12ish… we drove to Tesco to buy food and I indulged in my crazy idea of making home-made mojito. Honestly, I only put two small shots of white rum in that big jar of crushed ice, mint leaves, lime quarters and brown sugar. A, btw, I cut myself 3 times in the exact same place of the big finger while cutting the lemon, but barely the third time I felt it. Actually I felt it right after wondering why the ice-cube, that I was trying to squeeze out from the bag, had pink stripes.. Anyway, the think is, I don’t know if because of the mojito or because of the half jar of Nutella, I was barely able to fall asleep at 2 something AM, on Sunday morning. After I surprisingly noticed that, now, Bonnie eats bananas also, as we shared one.

At 8 AM, on Sunday, my Leo was trying to pull me out of the bed by my legs. Unsuccessfully. I had a horrible headache. I begged in all known languages. He gave up. I woke up eventually, by the noise of the garage, when a car was trying to get inside. He was in the city alone and finished all his “errands” by the time my brain decided to wake up. Actually my brain decided to wake up barely after 1 Novalgin, 2 big glasses of water, 4 more hours of sleep and 1 Paracetamol.

Ice-cream and more Nutella for lunch. I made myself a chicken steak with broccoli, but I shared it half with Bonnie, as it required chewing. And who eats broccoli when you have Nutella? I had too little energy to waste on chewing. Around 5 PM I went upstairs to take a nap, which turned out to be the 2nd part of the Arrival. The movie that we started on Friday evening. Or was it Saturday? Or maybe Monday..

After these days of jet-lag, mixed with my natural head-in-the-cloud-ness, I even started to worry that I may have contracted an exotic disease that makes you sleepy all the time, so I searched it on the internet. Yeah, there is a disease, but not transmitted by mosquitoes or other bites, it’s called: post-vacation-depression. Or Je-m’en-fiche-ness. You know what, if I afforded to have a vacation in Mexico it means I have enough money to pay someone to wash my dishes! Pardon my Spanish.

The conclusion is: today at lunch I finally had something decent to eat. I made myself an omelette burger. 😀 unfortunately a piece of the omelette fell on the floor. I was ashamed for few seconds, because somehow, by miracle, the kitchen was spotless clean again! Leo cleaned it yesterday afternoon, he even washed the floor, so I had to walk in my socks when I prepared my dinner yesterday.

Anyway, the omelette from the floor. Sans fromage. The 5 seconds rule?! Maybe, if Bonnie wouldn’t have witnessed it also… But now it’s tricky: what he would think of me if I collect it from the floor and eat it?!

So I did something very bad. I invited him in the kitchen to eat the omelette from the floor and even lick it. I only had to wipe it after with a napkin. Spotless clean again. Except for the 3 small plates lying in there now, dirty of ice-cream. And 3 tea-spoons dirty of Nutella. No, we are still just 2 people in the house and I was the only one who ate Nutella.

I mean, as long as I have money the correct currency, to pay someone to wash the dishes and clean the floor, I’m not a bad person, right? 😀 😀

PS. Yeah, I know I don’t have any children so my attitude is not justified.

Days 10, 11 & 12

So Day 12 is today, I’m in train to Olomouc and then bus to Frydek Mistek. There are 2 degrees and raining in Frydek Mistek. In Cancun were 30.

So I left Cancun yesterday at 9 in the morning. Wait, that was technically 2 days ago.

Anyway, I arrived at the airport and I was not seeing my flight on the board. It’s scary when you don’t see your flight on the Departures board. And when the person at the info desk of that company is not aware of it either, but he said that, if my boarding pass was issued at the self-check-in point, then it should be ok, it will appear.

Ok, but which gate I have? After walking around for 30 min, in the terminal, I said “hmm, let’s see where these people are flying to, which other flights are there scheduled.” And this is how I found my flight, it was the first one on the board, “original departure hour 9 in the morning, delayed to 12:10”. Weird, 12:10 says on my ticket and boarding pass, the flight number is the same, so this one should be it.

Then, when I arrived in Mexico City, I had to switch to the International Departures terminal, for Aeromexico. I was directed towards the Aerotrain. It was so cool. A train whose rails were literally in the air, over the airport’s terminals, over the highway, hangars, buildings etc.

It was just how I dream, when I dream that I take an elevator and, instead of going up and down, it goes left or right and I can see everything below.

At first, the plan was to leave the airport and go to Coyoacan, to Fryda Kahlo museum. But then, I realized, by the time I will arrive there it might be closed already, as I knew it was open until 17. So I stayed in the airport. It was safer.

Finally, a moment also for relaxing in this trip, as it always felt I was under run. Don’t worry, by the end of the day I was still able to make my 8000 steps. Around 10000 actually. Probably 2000 only in the airport’s books store.

The flight to Paris was ok, the food was ok also, and this time it felt the air in the cabin was cleaner at arriving in Paris, than at arriving in Mexico City. If you know what I mean. The thing is, there are 9 seats per row in this type of plane, around 50 rows. All these people breathing the same air for almost 11 hours. They do give you a small kit with toothbrush and paste, so maybe more people used that kit this time, before going to sleep and at waking up. 😀

In Paris, at CDG airport, when I arrived in Day 11, at 17:40ish, I had to do the check-in again, as they couldn’t give me the boarding pass for this flight also, as it was operated by Czech Airlines.

It took me a while to move from terminal E to terminal D, to find the check-in and then the gate. And I had to pass through security scan 2 times…

And then I saw the flight is delayed.. 20:15 scheduled departure, yet 20:20 it was written on my boarding pass as “boarding at”. “Yeah, so at least 1h delay, I said to myself”. Reason for delay: late arrival of the aircraft. Lovely. This was my 8th flight in these 12 days. I knew they stopped giving a f** long time ago, for flights to Bucharest, for example, but to their own home, also? Yeah, it was 21:30 when we took of and arrived at 22:40ish.

And they didn’t even offer us a cup of water for free, they passed with some cart, but they were selling sandwiches and Marlenkas. And I was too sleepy to argue. Shame on you, Czech Airlines… In all my Interjet flights I had a can or a bottle of something and a bag of chips included and the tickets were much cheaper. 😀

When I was in the metro and reading the advertising boards I was like: “What am I (still) doing in this country? There must be some strong karma keeping me here”..

Did I mention that, in the whole PRG airport, there is only one exchange company, called itself “the leading exchange company”? No, dear company, you are the “monopolizing exchange company” and you offer some rates that make me puke and also adding commission to them. You should have seen how it was in Mexico City airport: so many companies, one next to another, that, at one point, I sold a 100 EUR for 2030 pesos, more than the google exchange rate. :)) To USD they were decent, from 1730 to 1800 (in my last day), and they didn’t even hear of the thing “commission”.

Luckily there was still someone at the reception at my hostel when I arrived at 23:45. I had written them, when I was still in Paris, that I will be very late, to not mark me “No Show”.

It was 00:30, Day 12, when I was in bed ready for sleep. And I did fall asleep quite fast, so adjusting back to my hour was easier, as I was very tired.

So that’s it folks. But you can still stay around here, even if for the next months I will probably write only about my dreams and my plants. Hope they are still alive. :). Yeah, and maybe start preparing for F7 exam in June. Or July. Or 2018. 😀 Sure, right after NeverSea. Can hardly wait.

Day 9

So I just bought my ADO bus ticket to the airport T2. Yeey. 72 pesos, not 150 as I paid for the bloody collective shuttle, in the way here. Tomorrow I’m leaving. :(((

What? I forgot to continue Day 7 & Day 8? It’s ok, I will tell you everything in person when we will see each other (again).

Today I was at Isla Mujeres… 19 dollars ferry way and return. Yeah.. Quite of an adventure. Imagine renting a bike and making the tour of the island, in the middle of the day under the clear Caribbean Sun and (for the last 5km) with the wind blowing like crazy from front. And with a bike that had only one speed. After each hill I had to stop to catch my breath, even if I was climbing it using my own weight, as in standing. Because sitting it was impossible.

I had a lunch of Pescado Tacos with guacamole, cream and pico de gallo. Yummy!! And a yummy refreshing lemonade with fresh mint. Best lemonade ever.

They might have been 20 km in total as there is a detour for the turtles aquarium. My arms and shoulders are pink-ish.. Don’t worry, I had hat all the time and I applied SPF45 every 1 hour. And I drank 1,5l of water, aside from the lemonade. And they still got pink. Not stinging yet, we will see after shower tonight.

Now I’m going to try a shot of Mezcal, with the saving that I got from the bus ticket. I have enough time to wake up until tomorrow at 9 right?

Day 7 & Day 8

At my hostel now they are playing “Spin the wheel” or “The wheel of shots”, since so far everyone has won only shots. No “kiss a staff”, no “karaoke”, no “dirty dance”. (I peeked what was written on the wheel while I was having my plate of pasta). On the song “Zombie” from The Cranberries. Yeah..

I arrived from my trip one hour ago, a plate of dinner was waiting for me, I just had shower and laid myself in bed with a bottle of cold water under my feet. I would not go down to the party not even if you pay me. (Ok, I would, everything has a price :)) ).

So I didn’t recover my Vallarta hat, they said they didn’t find anything like that in the bus, that maybe somebody else took it. Sure, from under the chair, a dark-blue hat, in the dark… Anyway. I did a mistake for not putting it in the bag after taking it off my head, now I’m paying for it.

So, as I was saying: trip. Both yesterday and today I had two organized trips purchased from the Cancun Adventure website, operated by the Experiences Xcaret. Yesterday I had Chichen Itza Deluxe tour and today Tulum&Xel-Ha.

Yesterday in the tour we stopped first at the archeological site of the pyramidal bases (they say this is the correct description, as they are not geometrically pyramids, like the ones from Egipt).

After a discussion about the alignment of the planets, obsidian disks, eclipses and the long count calendar, we saw the mayan bees, which don’t sting, because they are needless and very small, and a fight between the male birds for mating with the best female around. :D.

Looks like someone won Karaoke. During which he mumbled something about a Jungle. It was “Land Down Under”. :))) The sound got distorted from travelling between the windows until my ears. And now somebody won a sexy dance. Yeeay! I hope it is a she, I have to see this. BRB.

Ziua 6

Care zi? Asta pe care am petrecut-o pe drumuri? Am plecat la 9 din Hostelul din Guadalajara si am ajuns la 21 la Hostelul din Cancun. Cred ca ajungeam mai repede pe cale rutiera..

Pai, zborul al doilea a avut aprox o ora intarziere, apoi, cand am iesit in fata aeroportului, mi s-a spus ca Uber nu are voie pe aici, adica pe langa aeroport, ca e zona federala ca bla-bla… Si cica ori iau taxi (autorizat) care ma costa 600 de pesos ori astept sa se adune mai multi (minim 4) si ne duce la comun, cu un mini shuttle, cu 150 pesos fiecare. Am zis ok, astept atunci. Am asteptat o ora. Plus juma de ora cat a durat calatoria, in care mi-au inghetat creierasii de la aerul conditionat. Si in care ma holbam la toate monstruozitatile de hoteluri de 5 (si plus) stele si ma intrebam oare de unde vin si cu ce se ocupa oamenii care stau in ele.

Am ajuns la hostel, atmosfera de party, placuta, energie multa, mi-au dat si cina (gratis, ca aici e in regim demi-pensiune). Am luat o berica si am mai stat si eu un pic pe afara ca incepusera nu stiu ce joc cu shoturi.

Apoi m-am retras, am facut un dus cald (ca sa pot transpira mai cu spor) si m-am urcat in pat. Acum e 23:30 si nu pot sa dorm: nici nu mi-e prea somn, ce-i drept, dar e si (inca) foarte galagie de la terasa.. Parca muzica se oprea la 23 sau vinerea e o exceptie?! In plus, sunt intr-o camera de femei, 6 paturi, eu intr-unul de deasupra. Si mor de cald, chiar si cu parul ud si cu aerul conditionat pornit in partea opusa camerei. Si bumzi-bumzi. Si iar bumzi. 😦 Cred ca sunt prea batrana pentru asta..

Sau m-am obisnuit prost in primele 5 nopti unde am avut numai single. Mi-as fi luat si aici, dar era mult prea scumpa o single si am zis ca oleac de socializare nu o sa ma omoare. Dar totusi..

Adica party-ul nu e rau, dar, avand in vedere ca maine la 6 ma trezesc pentru ca trebuie sa ajung pe jos la 2.1 km distanta sa iau autocarul pentru excursia la Chichen Itza, pentru ca cica “Uber nu e disponibil in locatia mea”, nu mai e asa fun. Hashtag: whathaveIdone

Si mi-e sete. Si cica apa de la robinet nu e potabila. M-am spalat cu ea pe dinti, o sa mor? Am uitat sa cumpar apa de la OXXO-ul din strada, asa ca trebuie sa rabd pana dimineata. Sau sa ma schimb de pijamale si sa ma duc sa-mi iau. Cica e non-stop, deci mai astept. Poate adorm intre timp. Sau ma duc direct asa, in pantaloni scurti de pijama si maieu, nu cred ca va fi o tragedie. :))

Somnusor. Si vise placute. Mda.. si azi-noapte.. Chiar incep sa-mi pierd rabdarea. Iar cand asteptam shuttle-ul in aeroport m-a luat asa un val dintr-o data, de am simtit ca mi-a deschis cineva chakra inimii cu ranga. 😀 pai da, ca daca as fi stat cu ea deschisa in toate zilele astea n-as mai fi facut nimic altceva decat sa stau in hostel ascultand muzica lacrimogena. Bumzi-bumzi, btw.

Concluzia: Vrei Cancun? Mai scoate vreo.. dublu, triplu din portofel, ca aici e Cancun, Riviera Maya, nu e tabara Costinesti. (as fi comparat cu Vama, dar n-am fost niciodata acolo, poate anul asta, ca tot vin pentru NeverSea, daca supravietuiesc Cancun-ului.)